a little late

you know you are on the back end of a trend, when they are already selling them at target.

oh. so cute though. i think i will add it to my list of heart's desires, and wait for JUST THE PERFECT ONE.

i read it for the pictures

whew. kind of a busy day. plus, we are having some more "storm activity" - should make our local keloland weather team pretty happy.

but i am really starting to get tired of this cra...er, stuff.

so, i just took a quick break and looked at a sample mag that i got in the mail. why did they send me this? what did i buy that made them think i cook? who are "they"?

i have to tell you, it's a beautiful magazine. kind of like an art magazine for food. i think i might want to subscribe to it, just for the pictures!

people are

well, people are funny. we just seem to "keep on keeping on."

looking for happy

a fellow blogger posted on her blog yesterday about happiness. a coworker of hers suffered a tragic loss yesterday, and of course those kinds of things get us wondering about why things happen, and how wrong they seems sometimes.

i started to think about God's idea of happiness, because i really feel we are "programmed" to seek what we usually call "happy."

i know in Christian circles, most of the time, talk about happiness quickly switches to talk about joy instead. Joy being the good things that spring up from the inside, and are not based on worldy things, like selfish desire or circumstance. i guess i just want to know what happy is, in concrete terms, not shifting ones.

hmmm. i know God's Word is happier than anything, but i needed specifics. i ended up going to the Sermon on the Mount ... here is the version from the Message bible (i substituted the word "blessed" with happy as i read this):

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

i'm sick to death of temporary happy. i need long-lasting, real, cannot take it away happy. and in all of my seeking, the only words i have ever found that seem to lead to SOLID happy, are the Words of God. i know that i know that there is truth in every one of those examples above. i have yet to experience all of these instances, but i most certainly have experienced more than a couple. and on days when it seems overwhelmingly, bitterly, savagely SAD in the world, more than i can handle or bear, i am clinging to the kind of happy that these words talk about.

ps. amendment and addition of photo to this post, as the Lord pricked my heart and said to me "THIS is what happy looks like."

pps. amendment #2: the reason i substituted the word happy for "blessed" is that it appears to me that happy is something we want to achieve on our own, blessed is something we are given. not sure, but that seems relevant here.

little miss sunshine

i just saw that alan arkin won an academy award for his role in "little miss sunshine" - what a movie.

my serious moving-going friend also made me go to this one awhile back, and i have to tell you, i loved it. it made me laugh and cry and gave me a stomach ache. i thought it was a pretty perfect portrayal of how life mostly turns out, left to our own devices.

thankfully, it's not our only option :)

one more thing

every time i turn around - i see one more thing i want for the garden. i am wondering if perhaps gardening isn't more detailed than i first envisioned?

anyway, this one is pretty easy to make, i think (um, esp. if your dad is as talented as MY dad with woodworking stuff).

so, i need to find an old window frame - might even have one in the garage - and get this going so that i can "harden off" my new little seedlings in the spring before i plant them!!

that's right, sister

i found this pic on another blog site, and i liked it so much i took it. since it's a back-to-work monday morning, i think she captures the mood perfectly.

in shape for spring!

i can tell the females of the household have put on a bit of weight over the winter. either the pants don't fit, or the belly is waddling near the floor. you guess who is who :)

ah. that is okay. heck, the floor could always use a good "dusting" anyway. and i'm kind of starting to think stretchy elastic waisted pants look fashionable.

still, sweatshirts with puff painted kittens cannot be far behind.

rubber duckies

i spotted these guys on my trek through the back yard for the first time since last october...i am glad to see they are making it thru winter okay :)

begin at the beginning

last night i went to an introductory meeting for a new group i am going to be helping with here in SF - an introduction to the Christian faith called the Alpha Group. i wasn't really prepared to do this course, it is ten weeks long (once a week) with 3 weeks of prep work up til the course starts in mid-March.

but, God grabbed my heart on this one a couple years ago. it occurred to me when i became a christian that alot of people who had been christians for a long time, had sort of forgotten how to be regular people. i mean, when you start sitting around and talking about sanctification in your spare time, you sort of neglect a whole group of people who have no idea what you are talking about, and who Christ is most interested in!!

anyway, this course is aimed at new/un/soon to be believers. i am excited. the coordinator of this session is a doctor here in town, who started a clinic a couple of years ago for people with reduced income and resources. in addition to the medical facility,they have a counseling ministry and also a prayer ministry. a few people have been led to Christ since they opened last year, and they want to start to disciple some of those believers, as well as offer opportunity to seekers. it turns out that alot of immigrant people here in SF are going there. so, we'll meet at the clinic with the idea of finding 18 people to attend this first time around. there will be 7 of us leading the group, you guys will laugh to hear my title of "snack coordinator."

he he. actually, the meal is a main component of alpha. in the "test run" i did a couple of years ago at my church, we actually had full meals prepared each week before the class began. it is a great way to connect, chat, get to know about each other, and love upon the newbies. but, since we are a smaller group this time, we are just going to have "snacks" so my first task is to plan 10 weeks worth, and figure out how the heck i am going to prepare them every week. doh!

we are also praying for someone to step forward and take care of kids during the course, so if you know anybody ;) let me know.

ah. will be neat to see how God moves here. i was so NOT motivated when i went last night, and came away excited and in awe of His desire to pull His family together. i will keep you posted as the time goes on with His work!!!

oh, you can read about Alpha here if you like:
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/relig/spirit/stories/s693628.htm

this is what hope looks like

do you really wanna gno-me?

my latest obsession - he would go really well with my pink flamingo :)

boys will be boys

post script to the post about the pants:

thanks be to the one guy who blogs along with me, my friend dave. phillip says thank you too, after our decision to try his suggestion of wrangler relaxed fit jeans. according to phillip "now THIS is what i'm talking about babe, these are perfect." best part? perfect happens for only $14.99 a pair. his wardrobe now sports 4 pair of these babies. who knew?

he he. i admit, even though it was quite the extravaganza to come to this point, i am pretty happy knowing my honey is off to his new job today with comfy pants on :)
you da man, dave!

back to bald

in the fine tradition i have of loving loving loving bald guys (esp. if it is voluntary baldness) i am listening to this song by Chris Daughtry today. i just loved him on american idol. it was such a thing to see this young kid who obviously was going to become a "rock star" and to see his wife who stared at him with such adoration, knowing she was probably scared to death of what was going to happen to their lives.

so, i guess he wrote about just that thing...love this song called "home."

ps, yes, i am a trailer court southern-rocker chick at heart. :))

so you wanna be creative?

today i had to go do "portfolio reviews" at a student event for my profession. it was fun seeing all my cohorts from the various agencies. i miss that sometimes.

i admit i didn't have real high expectations as far as the students go, but sometimes i wonder about our schools. here's who i talked to:

• 1 guy who was either going to make ads or be a tattoo artist, could not decide

• 1 guy who wanted to be a skateboard artist and skip all the boring crap that he was far too talented for

• 1 sixty year old lady who had "lots of crazy ideas that she never got to use in the first 38 years of her adult life" and was now wanting to be a graphic artist

• 2 girls who seemed very very sweet but had nothing, absolutely nothing interesting to see or to say about why they were there

• 1 girl from iowa who had a nice portfolio, who seemed to hear the "advice" i was giving her, and who will probably be an excellent designer some day

ay yi yi...the only thing i know for sure is that i was sure lucky way back when, that somebody gave me a chance and saw that i was trying really hard and let me off the hook when i screwed up the first few years...otherwise, i would not be the happy and fulfilled designer person i am today. i hope i would do the same for one of these people today if they asked me for a job.

just to be safe, i better pray for each of my new acquaintances because i think it's possible they will need it :)

woulda coulda shoulda?

last night the girls filled me in about the long-awaited weekend awards show, one that i admit interest in, but avoidance of :)

i used to care deeply about this night. it was the chance i had to redeem myself for the years that nobody asked me to the prom, or to the big game, or to marry them.

funnily enough, it always disappointed. a couple times, i won stuff. certificates that are still in a drawer around here somewhere, plaques that gathered dust in my former employers lobby, praise from my peers that faded before you could get out of the parking lot.

as humans, we certainly do seem to have a built-in need for validation. i still do, i admit that. but it seems that once you have a taste of the Lord, of what He finds important, of how He validates us, a plastic statue can no longer do the trick.

to my girlfriends who read this, and who are SO TALENTED and worthy of being recognized, i am in awe of you and your "stuff" - and i can hardly wait to play barbies with ya, and see what kind of crazy creative things you have in your head! for me, it's award enough that i get to meet and hang out with you art girls, and best of all, i don't even have to dust anything!!

Lord have mercy

Last night I met up with the girls for the Mercy Me concert. What do you get when you mix 3 art directors with a mom from Montrose?

you get a group that forgot to go to the concert on time, and completely missed the first act .... :) however, i got to see the full-out Rani show, girl, you are hilarious.

but that's 2 strikes for Aaron Shust. darn it. oh well, i guess that means we get to try again and have another girls' night when he comes back to town!

it was a good concert anyway. i have come to the conclusion that ANY concert that worships the Lord is a good concert. bart millard (mercy me) talked quite a bit about worship. and i think he's onto something. it IS kinda weird going to a christian concert, where you are half worshipping and half sitting in your seat and clapping politely at the "songs." God must smile at arenas full of people who aren't quite sure what to do. ha.

anyway, it was fun. audio adrenaline was great, they came out into the audience, and called young people up on stage and made me wonder why God wouldn't just heal this guy's voice so he could keep doing what is obviously a gift. but alas, it looks like my first time seeing them will also be my last...for awhile, anyway.

so, thanks for the date girls! see you the next time a great christian band comes to town!

cool pic of the day

her stuff is amazing ...

http://www.jengarrido.com/

for karen

hang on ... that juice will be pretty tasty stuff.

unexpected places

i did not really expect to wake up joyful today. after all, the weather has been dreadfully cold and yucky, and my life hasn't been a whole lot warmer.

phillip has been having some stress too, so a week ago i decided to get him his birthday present early. he does not have a bike and wants one. unlike me, he actually rides a bike - mine, since i've known him - so i decided to go for it and get him his own, winter or not.

i have purchased a bike before from a local specialty shop. i feel silly in those places, like a middle-aged lady who gardens (hmmm. wonder why i would feel like that?!) anyway, this time was no different, when i went in there last weekend to order the bike. i knew what i wanted, had already done my homework on the internet.

so, i stood there, watching all the cool biker types standing around. some of them had winter gear on and obviously bike in FEBRUARY. in south dakota. wow.

finally, a guy waited on me. he seemed pleasant enough, was young, cute and also looked alot more "hip" than me. he didn't openly acknowledge that i was a fish out of water, so i was thankful for that ... he sold me the bike, and called yesterday and to tell me the bike was in.

so, i jumped in the truck this morning when it looked like the sun was going to peek out today, because i want to surprise phillip this weekend. the bike LOOKS really good. i laughed and told the sales guy that looks were my biggest concern ;)

anyway, long story short, when he loaded it up in the back of my car, he saw my book from bible group called "the prayer that changes everything" - and said to me, "hey, what do you think of that book?"

for a minute, i had no idea what he was talking about. did i have a hip young guy book in my back seat that i didn't know about? when i saw it was THAT book, i said "oh, yes! that's a great book, primarily it's about worship."

and he looked at me and said "cool. well, that is what it's really all about, right?"

oh man. my spirit just soared. a brother in Christ. right there i found him, in the parking lot in the middle of February in the snow and slush and a place i hadn't anticipated he would be. we smiled at each other, and the young hip guy gave me that "i know what you know and it is GOOD" look that the Lord has shown me before with unexpected people.

and you know what? it IS about Him, and i DO worship Him for that!!!!! heck, who knows - maybe He is even saying i will be a hip biker type in His place for me someday!!

forecast for today.

snow and blowing snow advisory for SF today.

shoot.

tell me i shouldn't...

arrrgghh. i FOUND THE CAR I WANT. i had decided to put some $$ in savings, and start shopping next fall. but of course, i shop on the internet all the time.

so, i find this GREAT jeep! i see on the window that it started out in the low 20s, it is marked down to 16,900...AND the dealer will pay for tax and license! book value = over $20,000.

what to do, what to do....

note to self

do not make up a new game called "kill the hand" with wicked cat who has a killer instinct and nothing to use it on.

to my credit, i am usually wearing my long sleeve sweatshirt when this game begins, but apparently more protection would not be a bad idea.

close up view

sometimes, when i wake up in the morning, i kind of scare myself.

i don't think i ever thought about getting older til it happened. and i kind of understand those 90 year olds you see in the news every once in awhile who say "i still feel young inside."

it's true. i don't feel like a 44 year old, heck, sometimes i don't even feel like a grown up. carey and i joke that when we sit in meetings with actual ADULTS and business people, we still feel like children. what is funny is that many of my clients are younger than me now! not to mention my 20 something peers.

but even though it snuck up on me, i think i am dealing pretty well. i still like to "dress up cute." and i still like to feel like i look good. it's just a different kind of good, it's something that comes from the inside. it's the ability to laugh at myself and not take the surface too seriously. it's facing the fact that no amount of eye cream, no matter how much it costs, is gonna erase this proof that i have lived :)

still, i might want to avoid the mirror first thing in the morning if possible!

keeping score

not that i am keeping track, but here's the tally for me on v-day so far:

* woke up to kisses from an extraordinarily affectionate "princess of the household"
* got a rose and 4 tickets to the cheap theatre from the Spicy Pickle when carey and i stopped there for lunch
* got a vday card from little j, with PADMA someone?! on it :)
* got a very neat drawing/poem from my sweetie exclaiming his love for me (without mention of jean buying catastrophe)
* got a cup of chocolates in my door left from friend sher, who is a dear to me

* gave my little jade a big giant red dog, and her class strawberry cupcakes yesterday on my mentor visit

i think next year i better give a little bit more, looks like i am getting WAY MORE than i deserve...

happy day everyone!

break time

back when i worked at an ad agency, i almost always took afternoon breaks, even tho the pace was "accelerated" most days. i think most creative people do this, the trick is just not to flaunt it in front of the account staff.

anyway, my breaks usually consisted of standing on the outside of the building facing the parking lot, while a "fellow" coworker smoked. sometimes, there were multiple smokers. and me. even though i am not nor have i ever been a smoker, i was there for the complaining. because that is what we did. smoked and complained. how relaxing. or not.

nowadays, my breaks are different. for the first few years i did not really TAKE one, because i was not that busy, so all day long kind of seemed breakish. then, when it started to seem like i worked more 8 to 5ish, i brought back the "break." i like them better now, mostly because i am not smoking probably :)) he.

today on break i assembled one of my new trellises (i got two) in the living room. they are for the beans and beans and beans that i am planning on growing. i assembled one because i wanted to get a sense for how large it would be. it's not TOO big, but neither is my garden. two of these should be JUST right.

ahhh. one step closer to spring now. my neighbor and i actually stood out in the alley and chit chatted for a bit today. have not seen him since october, so it was nice. i told him that my beans were going to kick his beans' butts!!!

tuesday in the snow belt

ah, waking up to fresh snow again. thankfully, it was not the jingle of the snow plow cause ernie was parked in the street again (gotta get that garage cleaned out!)

i kind of like days like today, even though we've seen plenty of snow lately - today it's not just snow, it's sparkly white fluffy CLEAN snow...with a good dose of sunshine to boot.

it must be the Holy Spirit, because i cannot for the life of me figure out why it looks so pretty :))

falling apart together

i had a "meltdown" day this weekend, based on a few unsettling things going on in life, and a yucky feeling inside of me that i just could not shake.

when this happens, i usually START the meltdown with one particular event. this time, it was all about the levis.

phillip is getting ready to get a new job (construction) and is going out on interviews...he asked me to pick up a pair of levis for him when i was out and about and i gladly obliged. see, you guys all know about the spending fast, but it doesn't count when i am spending for somebody else :))

so, to the mall i went. i admit i went a little nuts - but i could tell SOMETHING was up the minute i walked into JC Penney. it was crazy nuts busy. there was a sale in the air. as i walked PAST the shoes, i saw that women had boxes of shoes on the floor and were frantically trying on shoes in the aisle. i stopped, and saw that EVERYTHING was 75% off. omg. i actually tried on a pair of suede brown slouch boots that looked like the movie footloose. then i remembered that i'm not in the 80s anymore, and also remembered my mission.

so, onto jeans. the mens jean department is a vast vast area in JC Penney. they have alot of clothes there. phillip and i have shopped there before, even though he steadfastly believes that "walmart has everything you could ever possibly need." right away, i found the levis. luckily, he likes levis or i would probably not date him. and since he said he was needing these for work, i figured levis 501s would be good. lucky for me, they were on sale. $32.99 a pair. i noticed that the "prewashed" pair was especially nice. the bottoms were slightly worn, but otherwise they had a nice overall softness, and broken in feel. good to go.

by the time i got out of the store, i had purchased 2 dress shirts ($6 each), a couple long sleeve waffle knit shirts ($5 each), a pair of "questionable" black jeans with stitching on the pockets - cute but perhaps men would find them weird ($7), and some new gloves for him. i felt like a good wife-to-be. all was well.

um, until he saw them. he didn't say anything, and of course the first words out of my mouth were "do you like those levis?" i asked, not IMAGINING there would be any problem. and here is what he said....

"babe, i thought you were just going to get a pair of NORMAL jeans..."

that was it. camel's back broken. what followed was crying, semi-yelling, the "you always do this" talk and hours in the bathtub soaking and praying :) oh Lord. finally yesterday, i started to come out of it. and last night when we talked, phillip spoke out all of the things that we both know are true about our relationship, and also "thank you for buying me the levis, i will wear them proudly."

whew. i'd almost rather go shopping with carey.

oh. ps. went to the jcpenney website, and i believe the correct jeans for this occasion would have been the 505 "workwear" line. sheesh.

clique here

recently a good friend asked me how she should go about getting more readers for her blog. she has been blogging for awhile, and must have noticed that usually there are a few comments on my musings.

it got me thinking about this blog circle thing. in some ways, it reminds me of grade school when you spent your time on the playground with those people you had the most "in common" with...but as we get older, hopefully, those circles tend to overlap a bit.

i have more circles of friends now, mostly because i have learned that one size does not fit all with friends. what is important is just to connect on some level, not every single level in your life. so i'm taking stock of THIS group, the blogging friends, and thinking about where they come from.

first off, there are old friends who come to my blog. like my friend kirsten. i wish all of you guys would read her blog, it is so great! it's unique, like her. kirst and i have been friends since about 1988, when i worked at sdsu and she came to apply for a job in my dept. she was fresh off the bus with a transfer from the u. of minn, having followed her boyfriend (now husband) who was getting his masters degree in brookeville. we became friends pretty quickly, as i recall. she was "cooler" than i and had that city vibe that a small-town girl like me never did really master. we both liked alot of the same things then that we do now, even though our lives are very different. i stayed single and had a business instead of babies, and she has long since left the work world for the valiant task of staying home with her 3 great kids (and um, 44 pets :)) - and a husband! - and we still like to garden, crochet, eat, gab and lounge together. her blog comments remind me of how much i love her, and how much she knows about me, and i about her. it's good.

then, there are a couple other old friends, some comment and some don't. that's okay, i am glad you guys are here too :)

then, there are the "design girls" - the women who like me, have careers as art directors. i LOVE having these women in my life. they are the ones that i can spend hours and hours and hours talking about what is pretty and why. i cannot imagine these girls not being in my life. my friend c. calls it "playing barbies" when we get together and that is just what it is...!

then, there is one boy - that i know of - who reads. he is a former co-worker and has pretty much heard about all of the dramatic stuff in my life. and i in his. he also fixes my web and email problems and helps me move :)) he is great.

then, there are one or two "clients" - i use the parenthesis, because these are specifically the kind of clients that i might share more in common with than most clients. these are the clients that i kind of would rather have as friends. the other ones do not know i have a blog :)

then, there are carey's friends. well, i should rephrase that. there is carey. she has been my "husband" for the last 10 or 11 years, and she is very popular it seems. we joke that in any other part of our lives, we probably would not have been friends. she is tall and beautiful and athletic and nice. i am short and quirky looking and artsy and kind of bossy :)) ha ha. but lucky for me, she writes words and i make pictures, and somebody paid us both money a long time ago to forge a wonderful friendship while we worked.

and as for her friends, they are awesome too! i have heard about all of them for years, the sdsu days, the chick reunions, the stories. lots and lots of stories, and even itty bitty pictures in my head of who these women are. oh, and there is even a new friend or two that she has picked up SINCE sdsu. all of them seem to blog, which is GREAT for me. it's like i went back to school and all of a sudden got to sit at the popular girls table :)) at least that is what these women are to me. they are funny, smart, kind, vulnerable, good people. and i like getting to be a part of their day thru this silly blog.

then, of course, there is the Lord! He blogs, you know. not always, but quite often. i see that He frequents many of the other blogs i read too, in the stories and the kids and the husbands and the love and concern and support that pours out onto the posts.

and that is it, i think. all i know is, if blogging is cliquish, i think we are all in the "in" crowd :))

smell the coffee

today i'm going to try to get my groove back. i've been feeling yucky, and that is not good. so, after the "inspirational spurt" last night (spurt is a funny word- see below) - i am good to go.

i need to quit being a baby about it being winter!! yeah, it's cold out - SO WHAT?! i need to buck up. i need to embrace the cold. i need to get knitting. ha.

i have not picked up my knitting needles OR crochet hooks since before christmas. i really want to make a couple of pretty things yet. and once gardening season hits, i'm done with other crafts for awhile.

so today, i get back on the horse and get back to knitting/crocheting/yarning or at least reading my new catalogue from Lion Brand yarn - probably the latter ;)

good day

today i was kind of struggling to have a good day...first off, i have a killer toothache, have been avoiding the dentist and now it looks like i waited too long.

then, it's not been a real good week with clients, lots of silly stuff, but it's been bothering me none the less.

this afternoon, i had a meeting scheduled with my church, because they wanted to talk about some items they "needed designed." i know from past experiences, they are always super nice, but usually super disorganized too and not really too visionary. i have always seemed to work with OTHER churches better than my own (actually, that's good, cause i don't go there to work :))

so, we met, and i got as much info as they had. which wasn't a whole lot. but something in me really really clicked on the way home from the meeting. i got a vision almost immediately of what i should do for them! so here it is, 9:30 and i have created a whole new campaign in the last 5 hours. it's basically "stuff" to raise awareness of and funds for a new endowment fund, so that underpriviledged kids can go to our Christian Center School. i'm calling it the Strong Roots Foundation.

and suddenly, even with the throbbing tooth, i feel good. deep down good, like i helped God make something just now. man, i am so blessed that He lets me do that!!! oh, it's based on Ezekiel 31:7

It was majestic in beauty,
with its spreading boughs,
for its roots went down
to abundant waters.

now i just hope the humans like it :)

Thought for today

We are never more alive than when we are dealing with God. And there’s a sense in which we aren’t alive at all until we are dealing with God.” ~ Eugene Peterson

give em what they want

i haven't exactly been "batting 1000" in the client service division of my company this week.

perhaps this book would help.

baby of the week

look at my friend rhonda with her new little bug!!!!

oh, he makes me happy ;)

worms anyone?

i've been doing some reading lately about composting. i guess i want to feel like the investment i am making into plants and seeds and stuff has the best start possible. which leads me to the next fantasy purchase...a worm house.

yikes. i know. i'm not sure where i would put it, and no one seems to mention if you actually have to TOUCH the worms, or if that is avoidable. eeeeeeewwww.

the thing is, they are great tho. they eat and eat and eat and eat your yucky stuff, and make and make and make and make great compost for your garden. let's face it, almost all the really good compost is made out of some kind of doo doo. i would think worm doo doo would be about as pleasant as any other kind, don't you?!

thought for today

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

I'm a thinker...by that i mean that i love to intellectualize as much as i can, as i go through my day. i think about my breakfast cereal and why i love it. i think about my cats and what they are thinking. i think about how phillip and i will grow old, and will it be a life pleasing to God. i think about my job, and what colors, and fonts and imagery i will use on my next project.

i'm pretty sure i am even thinking in my dreams. that being said, i think i think too much.

it's good to be discerning, to take pause before doing (something i NEVER did in my old life!), and to use the head you have been gifted with. but it's also good to remember that every thought should be held against the Word, and much of what we think makes sense is either NOT TRUE or has not yet been revealed to us clearly. We need to weigh our thoughts against the Word of God, and only the Word of God.

Personally, i'm glad for that. i am sick of thinking i know what to think :))

wow, neat.

i got an email yesterday with these images attached...i like them.

(RED)

okay, since my shopping partner has talked about our mall trip friday nite, i have to put in my two cents worth.

i did kind of like going to the Gap. i really really like that new ad campaign called (RED) that bono has come up with to raise money to fight aids in africa.

what happens is, the participating company can put their OWN logo in between the parentheses of the "red logo" and then it's their brand. it's an advertising thing, but it works. other participating companies are motorola, apple and more.

gap has done a fine job with their end and come up with good words like INSPI(RED) and TREASU(RED) as well as some not-so-good words like HAMME(RED) to put on clothing.

i really really really want one, but they don't have the word that i think would be just perfect: (RED)EEMED.

:)

not...quite...there...yet

i just googled Maya Angelou because i was wondering if she is a Christian (i saw a disturbing video of Oprah Winfrey this weekend, and i am bothered now that i ever watched her - even though it's been awhile) and here is what Maya Angelou is quoted as saying, it's pretty true...

I'm grateful to be a practicing Christian. I'm always amazed when people say, "I'm a Christian." I think, "Already?" It's an ongoing process. You know, you keep trying. And blowing it and trying and blowing it ...

at any rate, i think i like Maya enough to read some of her stuff. anyone have any suggestions?

euell gibbons, here i come!

my latest food obsession is GRANOLA, i have made 2 batches so far, it goes wonderfully with my homemade yougurt for breakfast!!

i know what you are thinking, the long hair AND the granola are pointing to a certain "h" word already discussed previously :))

but seriously, this stuff is AMAZING!

my favorite day

i'm not quite ready to join the workforce today. i overslept, and now i'm looking at my to do list and not to doing...

i started to fantasize about my "favorite day" and wondered if everybody would want to play!

i'll get it going, here is one of the "favorite days" that i look forward to living:

* early June, when the garden is just new, and the greenhouses are still open.

* wake up early, have coffee on the back forty porch with phillip and beener and discuss the day (now modified to include siesta)

* go to farmers market for MORE coffee, and shopping for fresh veggies

* errands to home improvement stores, flea marketing etc to follow the market

* come home to "projects" like gardening, house stuff, making stuff look better in our own little creative ways!

* shower, phil makes great dinner for us to eat and maybe we try a different kind of wine that we've never had before

* walk around the neighborhood, then a movie and falling asleep most certainly before midnight :)

ahhh. it helps just to write it out. anybody else care to offer up THEIR fave?

i'm a yippee!!

my hair is driving me nuts. i keep calling myself a "hippie" because it's getting longer and longer and now i'm in a quandry because cutting it will involve some emotional "letting go" - plus, naturally, phillip likes it.

anyway, last night in the course of conversation phil said to me "i'm glad you are not a yuppie, babe" (conversation concerning what kind of vehicle to buy, btw)...

WHICH leads me to a funny definition i read of what a hippie is: someone with long hair who is having more fun than you.

ha. maybe i do know what i am :)

put up a good fight

oh, i have had a great couple of "girl" days!

yesterday my friend (and mentor!) kit and i went to a movie, then had a quick cup of soup and a motivating talk!

it brought me back to my "old life" a bit. see, when i became a christian, i was a pretty tough broad on the outside. i had made my way thru the work world (which was where i got my primary identity, cause the relationship thing had never quite taken hold) by not taking any crap, by beating up those who were quieter than me, and by standing on my "smarts," my pride and my supposedly secure position of power in my workplace and therefore my life...sure, i was kind to a select, chosen few because they offered up something in return, but on the whole, i actually was living a complete and total LIE. and i didn't even know it.

i was really, really a mess. i WAS doing what i thought was necessary to "make it" and to be a successful woman. but i think i made the mistake of alot of women in the work world by falling for the lie that you have to act "tough" to get somewhere. oh, i could go on and on about the flawed thinking that got me to my sorry state at that time, but that's not really the point of this post.

long story short, kit recommended a book for me i am just dying to read. it's called "Fight like a girl" and amazon describes it's author like this: (Bevere) lays down the gauntlet again as she calls Christian women to cease trying to emulate men and embrace their feminine, strong nature. Bevere (Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry) offers women a clear alternative to society's take on the definition of true strength.

which brings me back to kit. kit is a motivational speaker for the Lord. she is also a successful stock broker, single mother, red-haired actress, 59 and almost 60 year old KICK BUTT testimony for the Light. she's great. she scares me sometimes, but i believe she and i have some similarities. and what excites me most is that i believe she is ON TO something when she preaches to women concerning their hurts, and the lies they believed, and their TRUE nature and purpose.

anyhoo, i ordered the book as soon as i hit the computer last night! so look out world, i'm going to learn to fight like the GIRL i was meant to be :)

give us this day ....

well, the shopping trip was SO fun last night! we ate at "the spicy pickle" and then headed for the mall. c. was having her usual struggle with herself to find the perfect thing, and i was just "along for the ride" - i neither saw nor really "needed" anything! so, the spending freeze is safe for this weekend i believe.

what is extraordinary is the way God spoke to me yesterday about this offering. i think it's fairly obvious to those that have been reading that i have been struggling with thinking of a month of no "extra" purchases as a difficult thing to do. but the Lord seemed to be telling me something else when i turned to His Word yesterday.

i have a daily Bible, so each day there is a part of the old testament, new testament, a psalm and a proverb. the old testament story for yesterday was from Exodus 15, right after the israelites crossed the red sea. of course, this was the story about the manna that God supplied and the instructions He gave concerning it. it was pretty simple really. they were to look for it each day, not save a bunch of it so it would rot, not complain (!) and on saturday there would be a double portion so that they could rest on sunday. the exercise was described by the Father as a "test of their obedience." hmmmm.

then, i turned to the new testament story. this one came from matthew 22. The Lord described a parable concerning the wedding feast. in this story a king invited a chosen few to a wedding feast for his son, and when they "paid no attention" to the invitation, he ordered his servants to go out to the street and invite as many as they could, both bad and good. yep, there was a feast going on, and it was clear that missing the invitation was a classic error. because he was a KING and it was a really good party and you had an INVITATION. hmmmmm.

well, one thing is clear to me today. i am most certainly NOT missing out on anything! i have every single thing a human could ever want and need from the Lord today, as well as an invitation to a banquet too :) i'm sure He'll dress me well, sit me next to my most treasured friends, feed me a most fabulous meal, and lavish His love on me the whole time!

who could ask for more than that?

prayer request

well, pray for my spending freeze tonite. not that i have any money anyway, but carey and i are planning on a shopping "date." i am committed to watching HER buy things, but anybody who knows her well, knows THAT doesn't happen except for in a blue moon :)

so, i am going to tempt myself, even though i admit it's a dumb idea. i haven't been to the mall in AGES, hopefully i'm so out of practice i will not be able to open my checkbook up. what i DO KNOW is that i'll do about anything for a night with one of my best buddies!

in other news, i got asked to go see "The Queen" this weekend too. hmmmm. this is one of those movies i'd never see unless somebody (esp. my friend kit, who knows people in the "business") dragged me there. consider myself dragged, i'm going to a matinee tomorrow. looks kind of good, though, if you remember that princess di thing at all.

then, sunday of course is a day of rest, and the superbowl - for some, this would be an impossible combination, but since football doesn't really get me too excited, it will be fine. i know enough to say "go colts" and that is about it :))

nuff said