bump in the road

this past week or so has been a lesson in 'life struggles' for me. i think God is showing me something here, or at least maybe i am finally starting to hear what He has been saying for awhile.

the lesson concerns the ups and downs of life, the hardships - big and small - that seem to keep coming. for each person, in each season, they are different. sometimes, it's the same thing over and over. every time, we wish for a happy ending, a resolution.

God is using the story of joseph to show me some things about my own struggles. my main struggle has always been fear, or fear of being 'dropped.' from a very early age, i have felt that somehow, i would not be 'taken care of.' i am not sure where or why it happened. i do remember sitting as a small child, waiting for my father to come home from work, and worried that something would happen to him. my security then (and for a long time after) was in my earthly father. and i was deep down inside, afraid he would not be there for me.

fast forward to these later years, and what has come to be a struggle in a similar way with my Heavenly Father. whenever things get tough, i seem to equate it with a turn of God against me. i start to doubt His love for me, or think that i must NOT be all 'that' in His eyes. every time things take a turn for the worse, i fear complete and total loss...that somehow, God will not catch me.

so, back to joseph. wow, his story would not seem to say anything different, would it? i mean, his brothers tried to kill him, he ended up in jail, his employer's wife tried to have him killed, lots of BAD STUFF did happen! at least, that is how i always thought about it until this week.

God has tenderly showed me a different view of joseph this week. He has reminded me of the dream, of joseph's dream that he would rule over many people, including his brothers. He has shown me of His protection, in EVERY circumstance. He has shown me that He did not allow joseph to lose everything, or in fact anything that he had been promised in the dream. even though it seemed bad, the promise of God was just as true on the worst day, as the best. and God's hand was over joseph the entire time. the blessing was there in the bad circumstances. joseph did not die at the hand of his enemy. he also did not allow his circumstances to change him for the worse. he still forgave and showed love for his brothers. he still got up from one bad thing and carried on, believing that his 'strong God' would help him.

what a blessing this story has been for me. not just for today, when i don't necessarily see the end of the road, because things are still a bit foggy. but for always, because God is for always. He has shown me that bumps in the road are not to be avoided, but also are not the end, and do not change the path that God intends for us.

it doesn't matter what your day holds. you may be sure that things are not good, and wishing that your 'problem' did not exist. or you may be wishing you were somewhere or somebody else. but if you have placed your faith in the hands of your 'strong God,' you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

whew. i hope that means that you will have a very good day...:)