no kidding

yesterday my fellow blogger K. poured her heart out concerning adoption on her blog. strangely enough, i too have been in "kid" mode for awhile. for me it probably started with the mentoring program that i began before christmas, seeing j. every week makes my heart think about having a child of my "own"...

http://www.albertmohler.com/commentary_read.php?cdate=2005-06-07

and then, one of the blogs i read regularly linked to the above story, about christian couples choosing not to have kids...the blogger suggested the story was absurd, and non-biblical (based on the fact that many couples cannot have children due to medical or financial issues, and that Paul himself said that marriage wasn't all that important in 1 Cor 7).

i guess i'm wondering what others think about this subject. i'm not sure what my own future holds concerning kids. it will probably be about a year and a half before i get married, and by then i'll be in my late 40s. i guess i have just decided that the Lord knows about whether or not i'm supposed to "have" kids, so i am leaving it to Him. i DO know i don't want it to be because of my own selfish plans and desires that i miss out on raising a child. but i also think there are other ways to "parent" children (and sometimes adults) than actually raising them in your own home.

for instance, a good friend of mine just got married last summer, for the first time, at age 50+. she and her husband love the Lord, but naturally they felt it might not be meant for them to have kids of their own. it's now less than a year later, and they have been blessed with "adopting" a woman from Africa and HER kids, who have been brought into their lives. my friend told me the other day "THIS is my daughter, i know that for sure."

so i kind of think that article is onto something, it's just that it might be kind of limiting in describing how to GET those kids that our hearts long for!

cozy and warm

ah...it's cold outside again today, word on the street is that it could hit 20 below by the weekend.

one more reason why i am not leaving the house again til late march or april.

but i had to smile when i saw (ie, stole) this pic from my friend kirsten's blog. puff, her bearded dragon, is fine with being a cold blooded creature, he likes his fuzzy blanket, just like me!

happy dreams, Puff... ;)

taxing poetic

today is "freak out" and do your taxes day at my house ... once a year, whether i need to or not, i stare at the big accordian folder, feel the big cringe inside, and dig in.

i would NOT be doing it, if i didn't have to file some forms by january 31st.

sadly enough, every year i have to call and ask my lucky co-workers what the heck to do. fortunately for me, i only work with "friends" who probably are also saints. this year, carey even had jamie hand-deliver the forms to me that i need to fill out! i am spoiled.

but dang it, before i die and go to Heaven, i want God to make me into a person who can add, so i will keep on trying to learn about this stuff!!

not my fault

but i accidentally "won" this on ebay this morning. to be totally honest, i bid on it BEFORE we started the spending fast :)

to be even more honest, i think i've spent more SINCE the spending fast began than i was spending before...

doh.

spend free

day two of the "no thrill spending" spree. i bought gas, and a car wash (very necessary, ernie was grey-not red and at 10 years old, he is prone to rusting) and some groceries and cleaning supplies.

no extra stops along the way, though all the cute little saturday shops were calling.

came home and looked downstairs for a few new decor items, put a "new" shelf on the wall and moved some of my chickens over there, a "new" tablecloth from world market (summer clearance, but winter cheer!) and moved grandma's cookie jar to a "new" spot...

made chicken noodle soup and homemade yogurt, read my bible study, cleaned and relaxed.

well, if every day goes like THIS, i just might be able to do a whole month.

Bring Me To Life

Written by Bebo Norman and Jason Ingram

I am a barren land And it’s all I can do to stand I am thirsty, I am thirsty

Father, reach out Your hand I have given all that I can Still I’m sinking, I’m still sinking

I want to run into the deep And let the deep call out to me I want to lose myself in Your love

So let it rain down over me As I fall down to my knees Let the ocean rise to meet me I need You to bring me to life

Well of eternal things Endless is all the life You bring Be the water that I long for

And show me Your Kingdom Come Father and let Your will be done Here in me as it is in Heaven

no esty for ME today

ah. saturday morning, coffee and a new computer monitor, new stereo speakers and itunes playing, reading blogs and easing into the day and ....

NO ETSY, no shopping. i will not shop to fill myself up. even though the cover page is all kimono stuff. i love kimonos. i want a kimono.

arrrrrrrggggh.

keep em coming

oh the email box is just brimming with cute things to buy today ...i am NOT looking, i am NOT looking, i am NOT LOOKING.

wow.

this new apple monitor is HUGE.

it's really pretty too :)
see, and i bought it last YEAR, so i did not even break my spending fast :))

waiting, waiting

i am so glad it's friday! it's also the first real official day of my 30 day "spending fast" as it was initiated by K. earlier in the week in her blog.

i have been spending like crazy lately. whatever i want, i buy. i just WANT right now. for instance, i got a $100 gift certificate for christmas, and WANT to buy a $200 item with it, that kind of thing.

i think there is alot to be said for being appreciative of what one HAS.

anyway, so it's a good time to practice moderation. for one month, i'll not buy anything that doesn't constitute a "necessity" for my home. for k., that includes fancy coffee drinks and clothing, etc.

for me, well, it appears that even though the new gardener's supply email sitting in my "inbox" this morning has JUST WHAT I WANT - a heat mat for all the little seeds i ordered last week - it will have to wait a bit.

funny how the Lord makes all the heat in the world required to grow plants, but i just need to HURRY HIM UP a bit :))

happy friday all!

thank you :)

thanks for the support and prayers girls! we'll do fine, matching or not :)))

ps, photo has been blurred to protect client confidentiality ! ha.

trickery

i admit i am more than just a bit nervous today. if it was summer, i'd just go outside and look at some flowers or pull some weeds...but since it's winter, i'm stuck.

see, my partner and i have been working ALOT on a presentation for some new biz tomorrow. it's always a bit scary, hoping you read somebody right and are giving them both what they want, and what is right for them.

at this point, less than 24 hours before the pitch, i start to lose confidence.

so here is my plan...i just went over to my favorite shop in town (i had a good excuse, to talk to the owner who is also a client) and bought a scarf.

not just any scarf, but a scarf that looks alot like the art i made for the pitch! yes, that is my trick. i am going to dress to match the presentation.

they do that alot on hgtv, if you've been watching. when candice olsen is standing in her lovely designed room, waiting for the owners to walk in, she matches the drapes :))

i'll let you know how it works for me.

stealing

is it legal to do this, or did i just steal a fellow blogmate's property?!

ummm, that photo sure looks good big :) thanks D!

i am bonding with my old monitor that i have had since i got my first home computer back in the 90s, because on friday it gets replaced by a big fancy apple flatscreen. i am having some probs seeing the details on some of my projects,

but still, i'll miss ya viewsonic...

fancy schmancy thing

i'm starting to think i'm pretty cool. late last year, a fellow freelancer told me about this cool software that "tracks" your time spent on a project and even makes invoices! you have to understand that this january marks the 5th year of my "stay at home" business, and i still do all of my bookwork "by hand"...meaning, it's not real organized. sure, i have a big ole folder that i throw stuff in, and even a rough system for sending out invoices...but nothing too consistent - generally when the cupboard is bare, i send somebody an invoice! it's crazy, but it has worked.

until today. today i decided to change all of that! i had to go backwards and redo a few invoices i already had going from 2007, but from now on, i am tracking away my day on this software program that cost 24.99. i like how the invoices are clean and simple and use a good type font.

you other girls who freelance and want this software too, just email me for the goods :)) it's fun to play with, if nothing else.

betcha anything that "blogging" racks up more hours per day than most of my client work, tho!

visual stimulation

funny how the snow that was so refreshing and interesting to look at a week ago, is now getting a bit tiring.

lucky for me, i have plenty of indoor visual stimulation to keep my spirits up. check out my newest desk accessory (fits in small spaces! comes with her very own itsy bitsy fish companion!) and my new poster that came in the mail yesterday from aiga (american institute of graphic arts) - wow, it's fun to be a member of this organization, they send lots of cool mailers !!

should be able to make it thru winter, finding just enough to keep me going one day at a time...

i want her idea.

there are SO many things that are good about getting paid to design stuff for a living. perhaps the BEST thing is the company i get to keep. over the years, i have worked with and met many wonderfully talented people in the ad biz. there are all kinds of personalities in this field, but if i were to generalize, i would say that the phrase "ego driven" describes quite a few of us. for many years, i sadly fell into this category.

but not everybody is that way. for a long time, this girl has been my "hero" designer. she has more talent and sheer love for design than almost everybody i ever met. and she is so humble and sweet i cannot stand it! she's also branching out now, so that everybody can get some of her beautiful "wares." she just designed her own line of WONDERFUL little jewelry charms! they are made from old silverware, and they are just the sweetest things! she told me today she has one saved for me that has a "B" engraved on it! oh, i am happy.

go see her stuff so that she can be your friend, too!
http://kristielou.blogspot.com/

beans, baby...

i have actually been working today, not blogging...but i just took a break to look at the new "seeds of change" organic seed catalogue that came in the mail, and yes, there is alot of gardener porn in there!!

look at these dried beans you can grow! ohhhhhhhhh, i cannot stand it. anybody have a spare yard i can borrow in a couple months?

:)

this good day

inspiration by the Maker of all good things, fernando ortega and a beautiful sun just outside my window:))
happy friday all!


This good day
it is a gift from You
The world is turning in its place
because You made it to
I lift my voice
to sing a song of praise
on this good day

9 above is cold too

a little warmer today, which is good i guess, but the really good news is that spring is 63 days away!

the seed catalogs have begun to arrive, and my emailbox gets the gardener mojo going when i get an email from burpee.com!

check out the honey dijon verbascum! i have never heard of this before, but i'm glad it's not cool to call plants boring scientific names anymore. i have a feeling "old school" gardeners wouldn't like the sound of this one, but i do :)

specs

in the tradition of taking pics of myself for my blog, here's a new one. yesterday i picked up my new glasses, ordered before christmas (yep, tax deduction)....

somehow at the time, purple metallic with half inch wide sides in a blend of gold and purple seemed "not so out there" but now i'm not real sure. for one thing, they weigh a TON!! for another, will they match my outfits? hmmmm. might have to go shopping now. for today, i'm trying a purple green brown thing. hmmmm.

phillip said, in phillip form "well, they aren't as bad as i thought they'd be." hmmmm.

9 below is cold

i had some concerns about ernie this morning. you might remember an earlier post in which he was not starting so well. so as we faced the coldest day yet of the season, i was just praying for ernie to rally in the pinch. YEAH!! he started on the first try!! ernie turned ten in 2007, has well over 100,000 miles on him, and i have obviously grown quite fond. sure, sometimes i dream about a newer, more hip version of ernie, but he really does get the job done still :) looks like he deserves a trip to the carwash as soon as it warms up!

in other news, don't the sedum plants look kind of like little mushrooms with their "snow caps" on?

fluffy stuff

finally! we got some winter in our winter!! ohhh. what a nice day - here is PROOF that i actually do shovel, if it's pretty and sparkly and clean outside ;)

makes me feel good to be out there doing a MANUAL cleanup, when all of the men in the neighborhood have their snowblowers going – of course, they DO have a median age of 83....

:) have a great day!

battle of the beds

we're "sleeping around" these days at my house. it started out innocently enough, my little mentee j. was so thoughtful, and gave me a perfectly pink cat bed as a post christmas gift...it was meant to be for siesta, and she loved it right away.

until been decided that HE needed a new bed.

so yesterday i made things right, by purchasing another cat bed....anybody who owns cats knows that technically, anywhere they choose to sleep is their bed, but yet again, this new one seemed sought after. i was worried for a minute that been would decide he was a 2-bed kitty, since sleeping is his main hobby.

in the end, siesta seems to have won out on this one, and both kitties are napping away in their new digs. from now on, i remember to buy gifts equally ;)

soaring...

just clicked on my new old friend karen's blog, and her message today about the character of the Lord just sent my spirit waaaaaaaaaaaayyyy high!

http://www.bebonorman.com/index.html

it reminded me of this song, when you listen, just close your eyes and you are a part of forever, with One who was, is, and is to come!!

it's awesome.

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me

‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now

modern gal

so, i'm reveling in all my purchases from my shopping spree last night: have my cashmere sweater on, had creme fraiche onion potato chips for lunch, used my burt's bees lip balm a minute ago, and OH YEAH!! decided to check out my way-cool light bulbs. everybody and their brother is talking about these things!!

they are twisty and fun, but i could never figure out what they were for. and since they cost a bazillion dollars, i kept buying the old lightbulb shaped ones. turns out, they last up to FIVE YEARS. (hmmm. better mark today on my calendar - technically, so do the old ones if you never turn the lamp on?!)...supposedly, you save 75% of your energy with these over regular ones. i never realized i was sucking power with my light bulbs before, but i do feel better now.

it's probably like the swiffer, and i am the last one to know :)

the hundred dollar store

shoot, i should have known just to keep on driving. i was coming home from the "shopping" part of town tonite, and there it was, looming like a beacon in front of me, my favorite store.

my friend and i used to joke that every time you step FOOT in this store, you spend a hundred bucks. kind of like the dollar store, only better.

i didn't really need to shop for anything, but quickly came up with an excuse to stop in anyway. i just sent billing out today, so in a couple weeks i'll be feeling fine financially!! i deserve a treat!! the cat needs a toy to chill her out!! insert excuse here!!

anyway, long story short, i stopped, i shopped, i dropped my jaw at the fact that i really DO spend $100 bucks in that place when i go there.

don't say i didn't warn you.

full

it's funny how it creeps up on me before i notice it. i had no intention of going there, but looking back, i did not take precautions to avoid it either.

The holiday season is generally pretty "full" for most of us. things get busy. there is family, and friends and meaningful time spent together. i did truly enjoy most of this holiday season; i knew who it was in honor of, and i invited Him to join in with me.

but before i knew it, things dried up. i started to think about all of the things i want to accomplish in 2007, from work to relationships to home changes. and i forgot to ask the Lord what HE thinks of 2007 for me! our bible group did not meet over the holidays, and i skipped church a time or two. i read some other books, and left the Bible on my bed stand.

so it was bound to happen. i woke up a couple of days ago and realized i was all dried up. i've been feeling some anxiety lately over work, that was a pretty good clue. then, i started picking fights with phil for kind of silly reasons. i started to be negative about people. i became less grateful for what i have and especially for who the Lord IS, in spite of this nutso world. i was worried alot, and unhappy.

last night, i went to our bible group for the first time since mid december. we all caught up, then spent at least an hour and a half in worship and praise and prayer. during that time, the Lord crept back into my heart and hooked up the hose, and started to water me. i cried, and i realized how much i miss Him when i don't invite Him in. i drove home last night feeling back to the way i am supposed to be: full and refreshed.

and i don't want to go that many days without a drink again.

psalm 139

I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

ya know?

you know when you get something new, and you just think about it all the time, and then you cannot do anything else without it popping into your head, and then you draw pictures of it on the computer and then you go and wake it up because it's just so fuzzy and sweet and sometimes you just cannot believe how happy it makes you?

you know?

cute!!

look what i got in the mail last week from my minnesota girlfriends!!

they are both artists, can you tell?

at any rate, I LOVE EVERYTHING. butterflies, chocolate brown, yarn and ric rac...

ooooooohhh aaaaaahhh. you guys know me pretty well.

sort of related note: i left my digital camera in the car last night, and now the photos are green and glowy. kind of cool, but i hope i did not break it!!

date night

tonight i get a "date night" and i am really excited!!

nope, not with phillip - but with a GIRLfriend!! it seems like i can never get enough chick nights these days, because we are all so busy with family, and most of my girlfriends have kids too, which puts a whole nuther wrench in things :))
but we decided to do this anyway, and we are going to see The Holiday (don't tell me about it yet!!)

my friend loves jack black, and i LOVE jude law. we both have men in our lives who would probably be pounding at the doors of the theatre to GET OUT if they were forced to see this movie. i laugh because phil and i agree on so few movies, altho we keep trying. luckily we both like LOST and disney animations. mostly, he likes action movies and jackie chan, and i sort of don't.

so tonite will be a real treat!! thank God for girlfriends. we'd be going to the movies alone sometime without them.

did you know?

.
that technically, once a cat goes "into heat" they NEVER really actually come out until mating is successful?

guess that's why the humane society is so full up...

and why there will probably be a few more attempts to mate with my foot before next monday comes. oh man, siesta, this sucks.

one a day

okay, so really, it was a perfectly crappy day. it's like somebody took all of my peace and love from yesterday, threw it out the window, and replaced it with a day FULL of brain drain from mucho silly work and LACKING in job security (and time spent with the Lord), and said "there's your day, how do you like that one?" in other words, resolutions to be calm and collected fade quickly.

anyway, 7:00 pm and i finally decide to quit everything and go chill. not that i'm trying to diet, but i did throw out a lot of the unhealthy stuff over the weekend.

so i dug into a bag of fruit that a friend gave me around christmas time, i think she got it from one of those fruity gift sellers :) or something. and WOW, my mouth was stunned. this apple is like a piece of cake. this apple is like dessert. this apple is a perfect ending to a not-so-perfect day.

lucky for me, it had a sticker on it that said it's name: braeburn.

how come nobody ever told me about these before? YUM-o. i actually think it might be a TWO braeburn-a-day day.

a new day

So i woke up today feeling "new"!! i love new beginnings, as i think we all do because we were created for them. thankfully in Christ, new beginnings aren't limited to once a year!!

i stepped outside to a perfect january day (photo attached is the birdbath outside my front door) – with fresh clean snow, and a still peaceful calm. i think i may just go out and take a walk after lunch. but for now, there is soup on the stove, and laundry being washed, and a new book waiting on the coffee table. there is hope for a wonderful new year, and the grace and strength to make it thru the "not so wonderful" stuff that is surely to come.

and there is the Lord. i went looking for Him this morning, and found Colossians 3, with great words for a first day! have a happy one :)

Colossians 3
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.