Friday, January 21, 2011

lying them down

whew. finally friday. i am always so relieved to get to this day, as it usually is an 'office' day for me, no meetings or outside distractions.

i should be working on the stack o' things i have to do, but i do keep thinking about other things. like the new bible study i'm doing.

it's called 'lies women believe' - and at first, i was not too excited about it. i was figuring it was just another christian self-help book that told us if we did things in the correct 1. 2. 3. order with Jesus, all would be well. sometimes, i am not so good at doing things in all the right order, and when i do, i find myself dug deeply in the pit of legalism, which is worse than just being screwed up :)

ha. anyway. God (so far) has been using the book, by showing me the ALL TIME, BIGGEST LIFE-LONG LIE that i fall for all the time! fear! as much as i have known the Word and its take on fear, i have never, ever successfully rid it from my day to day life. i get scared about everything, big or small.

the latest, biggest fear comes concerning my little fur friend. i think you guys know how much i love and treasure my siesta. she is just a great gift of comfort and joy at the end of my day, every day, as a single woman. i have a deep, deep love for animals, which has been there my whole life. i find they bring peace and 'rightness' to the world for me. it's really hard to express in words, but i guess i'll have to leave the rest to your imagination.

long story short, i had her vaccinations done on november 12th. several weeks later, i noticed a lump at the site of the injection. i brought her to the vet immediately, and found out there is usually not a problem, as most injection lumps disappear within 2 months. i have brought her back twice to have it checked, and as of today, it still exists.

words cannot describe how much afraid i have been that she might have cancer. 'the' cancer that i am afraid of is very rare, but apparently very real. i'm not going to even name it, or give it much more credence, because this post is not about the cancer or even the lump.

this post is about how God is using this experience as an OPPORTUNITY to illustrate to me how he is more powerful than fear. i tell ya, people, this is nothing short of amazing in my life. i cannot begin to illustrate the process, but it's been a combo of my own prayers and the Word, my new bible study about lies, and some teachings i've had that talks about the 'river of life' existing in my core, or belly.

see, the fear has always lived right there. on any given day, actually MOST days, of all of my 48 years, in some sense, i have lived with the fear IN THAT PLACE. and God, in his huge mercy, has begun to replace the fear with His Spirit. it hasn't happened automatically for me. i have had to approach Him and ask. however, it has worked to do that!!! wow, what a concept that to think that in all of the unknowns, the uncontrollables of this life, i can have PEACE.

yay God!!!!! people, this is monumental for me. i believe God is in-process to showing me that NOTHING, NO ONE or NO THING can separate me from Him, and His power and loving provision rests over me in ALL THINGS.

i am so very grateful. i wish the same for all of you, in whatever lies are most crippling in your life today. let's thank Him together, okay?


Karen said...

This is a wonderful post. I've done about half of this study...wish I had finished it.

My personal fear has to do with words on a page...

bobbione8y said...

thank you :) i wish you could be in our group!

carey said...

why do you think fears so often surround the very things we love most?

i don't know why, but i do know WHO.

and once you remember WHO is behind your biggest fears, don't you seriously want to kick them to the curb?

Chris said...

Yes! I struggle with trust (or maybe this is really fear too). I am always sure there is going to be a let down if I trust something or someone. It has been a work-n-progress for me & God thru the years.