Wednesday, January 26, 2011

in quietness and rest

wow. i so had to get rid of that post with the weird puppy picture (to answer Cher, YES, they are real - go to facebook and search for 'boo'). i am at a loss these days to think of posts. yes, it always happens in january.

even when i decided to go take a pic of SOMETHING, i found my camera battery dead. sigh. nothing in january is as it should be, it seems.

life has been very INSULATED around here. i have not been outdoors much, and i cannot say i have done a whole lot. i sleep. i am in the slow period of work, and i am not feeling especially creative. i am back to teaching, and spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about it, even when i am not doing it. i am tired.

and yet, there is a strangeness to all of this. i have been seeking God more. i have determined to make Him the center, not the circumference (i like that analogy). it's been difficult to put into words how that decision is affecting my life. it's subtle, and mostly all internal so far. it has to do with peace, and a letting go. it's been quite comforting.

siesta had her biopsy yesterday. now, i just need to wait for a week or so to find out the results. it seems i'm always waiting for something, and peace has been very fleeting for me in waiting. God is working on that, too.

yesterday some of my scripture reading included this snippet from Isaiah 30:

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
In returning and resting you shall be saved;
in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.

i call it a snippet because if one goes on to read the whole of Isaiah 30, much of it is a rebuke to a people that have gone astray. Isaiah is like that as a book. not alot of middle ground. i guess that is why it is 'my' book, the book i love the most of all. i want to be like Isaiah, which is a fairly big aspiration, or at least one that seems the most outrageous of things to desire.

and in the midst of this bland month, i am turning to quietness and confidence more and more. the endlesseness of winter and of days is seeming not only bearable, but necessary. and mostly, like Isaiah, my vision of the One who has plans for his people is propelling me forward.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Keep on talkin'. I love to watch your story unfold. I love to READ your story as it unfolds. It encourages me, do you know that?