two steps forward

take a look at this. 4 cabbages purchased on same day, in same pot, all looking somewhat alike, planted in same ground, getting same sun and same rain and same love. what the? well, at least i'll have ONE red cabbage by summers end!


or not.


by the grace of God, i will be having salad by the end of this week however.


tell me, HOW do these climbers KNOW which direction to climb? seriously, it boggles my mind. not one of them is indecisive. they all head right for the closest upward path. oh. if only i were THAT SMART.


and finally the piece de resistance (yeah, i had to look up how to spell that), tomato blossoms to behold. yuuuuuuuummm, worth the wait for sure.

schwew.

well, went to the doc today. i had a big ole list of symptoms, a week's worth of praying and time spent with the Lord (quite good on many levels for me :)) and a decision to seek medical help before i did anything else. even though, really, the symptoms went away pretty much yesterday.

i don't have a GP, but as luck would have it, a guy that i have done not one but TWO 10-week bible studies with is a doc. funny, i never thought of going to him before this latest deal.

anyway, i woke up yesterday feeling better and so this morning i was starting to back out of calling. i like to do that. procrastination is really what brought me to this point in the first place. i decided to "call in the afternoon" which are codewords for "get too busy and put it off til the next time i'm sick."

until i figured out the meeting i had scheduled for this morning was basically in the parking lot of the clinic where this doc practices. hmmmm. oh yeah, and the client told me the wrong time for the meeting, so i was over there a half hour early. hmmmmm. and so when i timidly went in and asked for an appointment, imagine my surprise when HE ACTUALLY HAD AN OPENING TODAY. hmmmmmmmmmmm.

anyway, long story short. they are going to do a few tests. so i don't know anything yet for sure. but after chatting (almost a 2 hour appointment?!) with dr. k. for a long time, he says i need to treat my body better, exercise, eat right and not stress out over any little thing.

seems like someone else told me that last week.

:)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

color fix

finally. finally. finally.
starting to get some of that color that i have been jonesing for. ahhhhh. want....more....

;0

is it my birthday?

i woke up this morning with an unexpected surprise. somewhere in the last couple days i got a present, a REALLY big one.

i have been given the GIFT of faith.

from God, who gives such things to us.

i'll elaborate a little bit here. i kind of mentioned a health issue i am facing, the reality is that it has been around for a couple of years. just not as bad as it is now. and the circumstances aren't exactly great, because i somehow let my insurance lapse. yeah, procrastination costs you.

the really GOOD news, is that God has stepped into my situation, regardless of my mistakes. He has told me that BY FAITH i will be healed. Wanna know how he did it?

Well on Sunday (before i was feeling too sick) he gave me an "image" in my head. it was of me, kneeling on the ground, touching the hem or edge of his robe, as He passed by me. i have always LOVED this image. even before now, this IS how i imagined myself with God. not making a big deal about being there with Him, because i don't want Him to think i'm weird, but just HAVING to touch Him. i'm a toucher. He knows that.

so anyway, back to the story. As it goes, i did get quite a flareup and scare with this health issue starting on tuesday. and in the time between the sun porch on sunday and today, FOUR other people besides myself have felt in their Spirit that God had luke 8:43 to say to me. it goes like this:

As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

"Who touched me?" Jesus asked.
When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."

But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me."

Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

what is extraordinary to me, is that when this began a couple of days ago i did NOT possess the faith to reach out and believe He would heal me. but now, i believe he has GIVEN me that faith!! crazy!

and no, i am not totally better. i don't know if i'll have to take a pill, or change my diet or just wake up tomorrow and it will be gone. doesn't matter. i AM healed, and i it came from GOD. and no matter what it takes to get from here to there, He has given me a present that i have SO been longing for. i believe Him.

for karen.

yes, this "goes."

speaking of, have you seen the latest pottery barn catalogue?

contains A LOT of that color palette :)) we may need to talk about 'pattern' next. and you can ask carey about texture! he he.

b

whattya think part two?

she is decidedly a girl, and considerably smaller in size than ernie, so i was thinking i could name her minnie driver?

minnie and mabel and siesta and me.
and phillip.

i think he is getting outnumbered.

rain, rain, come on over!

i wish that the torrential rains from a few weeks ago were spread out a little bit. right now, these little babies could use a drink or two.

um, yes, i do plant seeds a little close together. that's SEVENTEEN packets of seed in about a 20 foot row.

and unfortunately, i cannot BEAR to pull any of them out!

:)

whattya think?

i am pretty sad about the fact that gas is going thru the roof right now. it means my dreams of a new shiny SUV are dying fast.

then today, i was hunting and saw THIS little mini suv/car thingey. almost 30 miles to the gallon!

YES?

it's orange and has a sunroof, that's all i'm saying.

sunday peace

this morning, i was sitting in my happy place, contemplating the beauty all around me. sometimes, when i am in this place, i wonder if God gets worried that i am loving His creations more than Him. you know, like loving your birthday present more than the person who gave it to you?!

so i asked Him if i was doing that. i apologized if i was, because i don't want Him to be offended. i also want to know that i want Him more than the "stuff" He gives me, which is much.

and i opened my bible, and this is the Word i read. And if you knew my life, you know that it was 100% totally true then. and it still is now.

happy sunday, y'all.

Psalm 116

I love God because he listened to me, listened as I begged for mercy. He listened so intently as I laid out my case before him. Death stared me in the face, hell was hard on my heels. Up against it, I didn't know which way to turn; then I called out to God for help: "Please, God!" I cried out. "Save my life!" God is gracious—it is he who makes things right, our most compassionate God. God takes the side of the helpless; when I was at the end of my rope, he saved me. I said to myself, "Relax and rest. God has showered you with blessings. Soul, you've been rescued from death; Eye, you've been rescued from tears; And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling." I'm striding in the presence of God, alive in the land of the living! I stayed faithful, though bedeviled, and despite a ton of bad luck, Despite giving up on the human race, saying, "They're all liars and cheats." What can I give back to God for the blessings he's poured out on me? I'll lift high the cup of salvation—a toast to God! I'll pray in the name of God; I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it together with his people. When they arrive at the gates of death, God welcomes those who love him. Oh, God, here I am, your servant, your faithful servant: set me free for your service! I'm ready to offer the thanksgiving sacrifice and pray in the name of God. I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it in company with his people, In the place of worship, in God's house, in Jerusalem, God's city. Hallelujah!

sad to say goodbye

i think this is gonna be a hard thing to do. but today, i started the first day of weaning myself from my old friend.

see, i've been struggling for awhile with a health issue that is more "irritating" than anything. i have thought about it, and usually just deal with it, because for one i'm home all day, and secondly, it hasn't seemed all that bad. but lately, it's badder.

of course, i have been online trying to self diagnose, hoping i won't have some weird cancer or something. and naturally, i want to avoid the doctor at all costs.

then this week, i decided to look some more. i found a list of possible reasons for my symptoms, and sure, cancer was on the list. but the TOP of the list had two big words: alcohol and caffeine. shoot. i wish i drank more alcohol, because then i could just quit which for me would be quite easy. but CAFFEINE? not a prob to drop that either, except that it is a primary ingredient in COFFEE which i cannot live without.

doh. bad news. but i am sick of not feeling good. so last night, i went to the store and bought my last bag of caffeinated pleasure, along with this can of stuff. it's pricey, but it's made by republic of tea, which boosted my confidence a bit. for now, i am going to mix the two together, and vastly cut down on my caffeine. what used to be 3 heaping scoops a day, is now one sort of heaped scoop of coffee, and a scoop of this "herbal" concoction.

i am drinking it now, and it smells like coffee, looks like coffee, and tastes like....well, not chicken. but not really coffee either.

breaking up sure is hard to do. wish me luck with that.

suspense kills

aaaaaaaaachh!

i cannot stand it.
right now, i have tons of tons of tightly furled little buds all around the back forty, just waiting to unlease their offerings for the summer. i know, i know, patience is a virtue. it's just one that i never ever seem to fully possess!

food everyday? cool.

not that i need to be thinking more about food, given my last post and the comments associated with it, but woo hoo! i just got my first issue of everyday food in the mail today.

it's a martha mag. but even if you don't like her, you would love this magazine if you like to eat. there are LOTS of recipes. and they are good ones. and the pics are nice. and it makes you want to have company over to eat with them.

man, martha couldn't PAY a person for a better ad than THAT, now could she?

:)

good or bad?

i need your help. well, actually it'll be a little late by the time i get a response, but oh well.

i have a meeting within the hour, and i'm going to wear this newfangled thing. you know, the dress over jeans look?! i bought this sundress a couple weeks ago, and although it's adorable, i am worried it's a bit short for me. i love love love the turquoise and brown idea tho (kristie, don't say a word).

so, i put a pair of jeans on under, as well as a brown tank top. and a light blue cardigan for good measure.

YES or NO? it's cute, but is it 44 year old chubby girl cute? will this client rethink his decision to hire me? well, that might be a good thing, but still. don't want him to think i'm a little too artsy for my own good.

ah. being a girl is sometimes challenging.

suspicious behavior

there is a dead area of my front lawn that is bugging me. (this photo doesn't show that it's about 3 feet wide x 2 feet wide). i've always had a great lawn since i moved here, so i really cannot figure out why a couple big dead spots would have shown up! plus, i'm not a lawn expert, so figuring this out will have to be left to some sort of pro.

anyway, i think this guy might have a clue about it. he's part of a "family" of bunnies that lived under the lilac bush by my house this winter, which was so harsh because of cold and lack of snow, that i always kind of worried about them. i read somewhere they do "burrow" into the ground when the weather is like that, to protect themselves.

hmmmm. he looks pretty comfortable EVERY MORNING when i see him in the center of the dead spot. think he might know who killed my grass? i think i better ask him.

happy monday

yesterday my mom and i "hit" the greenhouse for our major shopping spree. i didn't go too crazy, but i will still be planting for a couple of weeks i suppose. these are all plants for the various pots i have around the house. most of the planting in the beds is done, but this is the "creative" part that i most enjoy. i sit and arrange and rearrange and decide what looks best with what. not that i'm really good at it. often at the end of the season i think "that was a bad idea."

but still, it's my favorite part, if there is a favorite part when you like everything about something. ha.

now that it's spring, i find i get a couple extra hours every day. much like a kid on the morning of christmas or his birthday, i get up extra early so i can go outside and BE in this garden i am so enthralled with. in the morning, i really don't do much out here. all of the weeding and watering and tending is done at other times of the day.

but this is when i am most at peace. i can read the Word and pray. i can admire and see God's creations right up close. mostly i guess, i can daydream about beautiful things and perfect worlds and what will be. it changes who i am, even if i sort of forget about it temporarily when i go back to my day of computers and clients and the work week.

i cannot think of a better way to start the day.

jammin'

haven't posted a recipe in awhile, so i will put this one up over at granola girl...link at right.

rhubarb strawberry jam.

yum.

distressed

no, not me. the CHAIR, silly!

i just fell in love with these chairs last summer when i saw them in sundance catalogue....but the price tag of $295 each seemed pretty out of my range.

til today that is. Good ole Menards, the farmer home improvement store, had just the right size adirondacks for $24.99 with a $5 rebate.

so, for $40 and a couple of cans of paint, and a sander, i am going to try to recreate the fancy schmancy sundance ones.

if i can figure out how to assemble them, that is :)

does that work?

I stole the following story from another blog. I think you'll "get" the story before it ends, but it is a great story for Mother's Day!

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.
Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.
Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.
We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.
And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

crazy small world

for about a month, i have been dealing with a crappy leak in my bathroom sink. i'm a procrastinator with this stuff, just like i am with going to the dentist. i don't know if i think it will magically disappear or what, but anyway. i hate dealing with stuff.

so i was firmly in denial til this morning, when the water started flowing out from underneath the KITCHEN sink. okay. that's over the top. i had to call a plumber. since i have absolutely no referrals or knowledge of a good plumber, i went to the phone book. i kind of prayed, but not really. mostly i just looked for the right ad. not too big, not too small, professional but simple. found one, called the guy and he said he'd be over in a couple of hours.

dax has been here all day. turns out, he lives about a block away, and has for the whole time i have been here too. he is mexican, an immigrant from california 8 years ago. he loves my house (which is spanish) and says it reminds him of home. he says he loves my landscaping, and his family walks by here and admires it often (have never seen them, i don't think). he has a wife and two little ones, a 38 day old baby girl, and a three year old boy (daxcito!) with downs syndrome. he told me about how God changed his heart by giving him his son.

right now, i hear him talking spanish to Siesta, which is just hilarious.

i cannot believe how the Lord is even in the phone book.

focus....

Siesta and i are BOTH having a hard time staying focused today, with the outdoors calling.

dew is pretty

is it just me, or does everything look better right after the rain?

remembering

yesterday a friend and i were talking about where we got our artistic eye from. although i am not real sure about that, i can put a pretty firm finger on where i got my love for the back forty, and everything that simple living involves.

that would be my grandma elizabeth on my mom's side. in this pic, i guess i am 9 or 10, and i remember how this moment felt so well.

i loved my grandma and grandpa krogman. when i was young, i stayed with them in aurora (sd) sometimes while my mom worked at ben franklin in "town." grandma and grandpa had lived most of their lives on the farm, but had retired to the little town of aurora by the time i came around.

they were still farmers at heart, even without the farm. sort of like me. i remember the big freezer in the "shed" and the rows and rows of canned items in the cellar. i remember christmastime, when the spare room was brimming over with baked cookies and pies and candy that grandma had been making for weeks. i remember the yard, the odd assortment of peonies and irises and rambling rose bushes placed around without a lot of thought or planning.

mostly, i remember the garden. at the time, i thought it was HUGE. i remember going out there with grandma and grandpa, and helping to weed, but mostly walking back and forth thru the rows, admiring. i remember when grandma would dig two fingers into the ground around the hill of potatoes, and find one to make for supper with the fresh peas we had just picked.

ah. i love remembering. i miss you today grandma, can hardly wait to see you again.

new beginnings

words cannot really describe the excitement i feel when i look at these pictures. last year, when i decided to cut down all of the overgrown bushes in my backyard and dig it up, it was pretty overwhelming. i had no idea what i was getting myself into, but there was no turning back.

what transformed was a really great experiment in my life. i was never happier last summer than when i went "out back" with Been and pulled a few weeds, drank a few cups of coffee, and spent time with God's creation.

this year, i am looking at these pictures expectantly. i love the look of the newly tilled dirt. it's so pretty! i love the haphazard piles of stuff that are calling for my attention. i love the idea of a completely new space, one i haven't seen yet but can envision in my head. one that surely will not turn out as i expect, but will nevertheless be a joy to watch unfold.

last night as the storm rolled into town, for a moment i got a bit fearful of what it could do to all the baby plants that are just barely pushed up. but then i remembered how the Lord works, the safety net He has for all things, including me and my little chunk of earth here in south dakota. even though the storm was coming in, i knew that i had roots.

wheeeeeeee

well, the rain has kinda put the kabash on getting my garden planted this weekend, so i had to go flea marketing quick this morning. poor me :)

ha. i have always LOVED these old two-tiered lampshades, but usually they come on weird cowboy lamps. so today i found one all by itself!

for $14, my old pier one floor lamp looks like a vintage find!

just perfect for a book and the rainy day we have going :)

colorstrology

okay. i tried not to go there, but i love color too much to stay away. katie over on the other side of town led me to this site:

http://www.colorstrology.com/

although i don't believe in astrology (duh) i do believe that certain people respond differently (quite) to color, and that certain colors and color palettes must be more pleasing to our individually made eyes than others. the difference i guess is that i just think God made us that way, no big secrets involved. case in point....my friend kristi lou who is a blue and tan fanatic, even she admits it.

well. here's the color chart that coincides with my birfday.
doh. as i sit here in the middle of a room that looks like a giant grape and a giant orange got together and attacked it, i see that it's probably not a coincidence that i like being here.

:)

healed

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Isaiah 58:8

i was talking on the phone with my friend sher last night. sometimes we pray together, and yesterday both of us had things to pray about. her "thing" was really cool, something i have begun to get used to, but my brain cannot really be totally wrapped around.

sher is a wonderful woman, who i met in the very first bible study i went to after i became a christian. i noticed her right away, for her beauty and warmth, and the "something" that i know now is God's handprint on a person. i latched onto her right then, and somehow was lucky enough for it to hold. she is like a 2nd mom to me.

sher has had alot of battles with her health in her life. she has fought and won thyroid cancer when she was in her 20s, and had heart surgery last year when she was in her late 50s. and in between, there have been several other things that have broken on her body. one of them is her knees. she's really skinny and sort of athletic looking, but the problem is that she was a preschool teacher for much of her life. all of the "crouching" down to little kids level has made her knees go kind of bad. she can walk fine, but not "crouch" anymore, and sometimes has knee pain.

so wednesday night she was watching the 700 club, or some show on christian tv, and the guy started praying for healing. he said something about praying for someone's knees, and she thought "boy, i wonder if that is me, because i would really like some new knees" and prayed.

and guess what? she got up and decided to believe that God HAD actually healed her, and squatted down. got back up. no pain!!!

when i talked to her last night, she had been walking around doing squats in her house all day, and she felt great. i told her that it would make a great exercise video, miraculous healing and the exercise benefits :))

Praise be to Him. wow, Lord, you are awesome.

UNprepared

today my little mentee and i decided to take a break from reading by playing a game. as we were searching thru the "stack" of yahtzees, candylands, chutes and ladders, etc - my eye caught this game called the un-game.

i think the thing that caught my eye was that it said "recommended by Dr. James Dobson" on the cover.

i asked j. if she had ever played it, and she said yes, once before. i asked her if she wanted to try and she said "okay."

turns out the un-game really isn't much of a game. it's a "communication tool" whereby the players roll dice and take turns answering various questions on the cards in a stack. the only rule is that the other person cannot speak while the player is answering the question. it's a listening tool as much as a talking tool, apparently.

and what i heard from j. bears heavy on my heart today. i cannot/will not go into specifics, but just want to say that life is not the same for all kids. life is hard and brutal and unfair for some of them. a couple of the things that have happened to this little girl in her life are MAJOR. and she is taking them in stride. well, not in stride. i think she knows those things are wrong too, but she is still hopeful, and joyful, and ten years old. i want so much for her. i know she has one loving parent, so i guess she is actually twice as lucky as some other little kids. but i know that even that is not going to be enough.

one of the questions was: name 4 people that are most important to you, and her answer was this:

mom and my family
my mentor
my friends
God and stuff

seems like she is putting me in pretty good company, and although i am afraid that i will somehow let this child down, i most certainly have let her in. i pray that the Lord will help me to help her let Him in also.

Bobby McFerrin might have been onto something

i remember where i was when "don't worry, be happy" became a popular song. i was in my 1st job at sdsu, crazily pursuing an unhealthy relationship with a guy that i cannot for the life of me figure out why i was attracted to. and he liked the song. i did not. i have not thought about bobby mcferrin much over the last 15 years or so, but yesterday he came to mind.

see, carey and i had a "consultation" day with several area businesses. we are working for their landlord, a developer who has built a "lifestyle center" here in SF. one of our jobs is to encourage these tenants in the property to work together and build great relationships with each other, as well as co-op together for marketing purposes.

sounds like a good idea, right?

it was interesting seeing people's reactions to their business and to getting to know their neighbors. most were open and excited and looking forward to creating community. a couple who were NOT so optimistic were the ones that caught my attention. i guess i never really THINK that much about how positive thinking and hopeful living make so much a difference in what we "give out" to others. one woman (our first appointment of the day) was so FUN and got us all pumped up about the task at hand. some others we met with literally "sucked the air" out of us before our long half hour with them was done. they deflated us, and themselves too. it's hard to see why any of us would choose to dwell in negativity, when we see it reflected back to us in others.

and yet, sometimes i do that very thing. i let worry and anxiety come out of me instead of focusing on what i KNOW is good and in control. ummmm. i mean WHO is good and in control.

so today i am thanking the Lord for His Word and His good idea, which probably precedes Bobby McFerrin by quite abit:


Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

Phillipians 4:8


oh, ps....save your money if you are thinking about buying into that silly SECRET thing that oprah winfrey is touting, because the Lord precedes and supercedes that as well :)