it started sometime last week. a deepening sense of sadness, a feeling of being out of sorts and out of solutions.
i guess it started when two people in my church family died ... as well as my pastor's grandfather. those situations, even though removed from me directly, coupled with another friend who is going through chemo right now and another pastor i know whose wife is dying a horrible death from sudden, aggresive cancer, were enough to send me off spinning somewhere not good.
even more, the illustration of my state of mind came on saturday, when i found this baby bird on the old fencing in my back yard. i spent the day watching, making sure he was okay. i got the pleasure of seeing his mom feed him a worm. i prayed that God would watch out for him, that he would be okay. i started to love him in his vulnerable little state.
a little later in the afternoon, i witnessed a ruckus involving a squirrel, and after a quick google search, i realized that my little baby bird had been ravaged. the mom hopped around the yard looking for her baby. i cried.
you see, when we look only to this world and expect to see God move only in our circumstances, we will be disappointed. it's not that God WON'T or cannot heal us in our wounded state. it's that healing is more than our expected outcome. healing means keeping our eyes ONLY on Him, the Healer, the one whom all good things come through. it's when we ask the WARzone to make us complete, to bring us joy, that we are disappointed. the WARzone that is this world cannot heal us. we need to stop hoping that it will.
i need to remember today. the impact of this world is most of the time harsh. for as much as goodness exists, injustices abound. people hurt and lose and are wounded.
and God is there, God is here ... waiting for our focus to shift, waiting for us to enter into the solution, the Healing, the place where pain cannot enter. it's our real home - HE is our real home, people. and i for one am so in need of living there.
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| my mercy church fam, and my brave friend elise sporting her new head, courtesy of cancer. isn't she gorgeous? |
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
John 14:6
2 comments:
Bobbi, I sympathize with the baby bird ordeal so much. A few years ago, I thought I was watching two squirrels wrestle playfully outside my window. I even called Chuck over to watch it with me. Then it quickly turned fatal for one of the squirrels. I also googled the incident and discovered that squirrels are territorial.
I tried to shake it off, but it bothered me deeply for several days. The world -- all of creation -- is so broken because of sin, and sometimes the brokenness grips me to the core. Thank you, Jesus, that this world is not my home!
oh, Ellen, I am so glad that someone understands...I think it hit me so hard because it WAS a metaphor for the sin of this world ... thankfully, the Lord spoke to me about this today with a message I needed to hear :)
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