flowers for karen

i woke up this morning to see that my dear friend karen's mom passed away last night. i admit i have been checking her blog almost compulsively for the last week or so. still, my breath caught in my throat when i read the words.

this journey with karen and her mom sue has been a new one for me in many ways. i have always been a sentimental type, a "softie" from the time i was a real little kid. so the delicacy of life, the sweetness of a love between a mom and daughter, the raw emotion of going thru a time like karen has been through, those things are things that have always touched me deeply. i remember times in my own life when i lost things i truly treasured, and did not know how life would ever taste the same without. i hurt for people like karen's dad, who might not know how to show their pain, but feel it deeply nonetheless. in those places, i have been.

what is different for me now, is that sue and karen and many of you dear blog friends and i share in the promises that Jesus brought on the cross. how did i ever LIVE without His touch in my life?

the truth is, i really didn't. until i knew that i knew that i knew that He is real, that He means what He says, that He is the REAL REASON that i am on this earth, i did not know what it was to live. to cling to Him when you are so sad that you cannot function is the ONLY WAY to make it make sense.

and it does make sense to me. what doesn't make sense is the craziness of the world. the silly fighting about whether to say "happy holidays" or "merry christmas." the brutal words that we use with each other in our efforts to prove that WE are right, and THEY are wrong, whoever we and they are.

i guess that the Lord has the ultimate laugh sometimes in my life, because i honestly used to mock people who were "bible thumpers" and looked to God first for answers. at that point, it was still a secret to me, what they knew and what i didn't. but He is famous for revealing His secrets in His time to us, when we really truly want to know them. i thank Him for the secrets He is showing karen even now, and for the promises and delights that He is showing His beloved sue, who i am so honored to have met.