i woke up at 5:30am again today. i don't think i'd actually get out of bed at that time of day, if not for the fact that i get a cup of coffee (albeit decaf). i've been waking up early all week, i think the brain is working on overload a bit, and really has not been sleeping much at all over these last few weeks.
i kind of wish the holidays were different. by the time i come around to fully embracing the meaning of the season, it's practically over. i wish i could learn to relax more, instead of adding on to my to-do list, when i should be concentrating on more important things.
last night, i attempted to go to the mall, i wanted to pick up some stuff for a craft idea i have for some girlfriends. i knew i was in trouble when i sat thru five stoplights before i got to "go" at an intersection that was about a mile away from my destination. it took about 20 minutes to go that last mile...people everywhere. i got into the store, got my cart, and proceeded to walk around aimlessly and WASTE TIME for far too long. never did find the materials i came to buy. bought a bunch of other pointless stuff. got into my car, and went home, feeling a sick emptiness, KNOWING that i was missing the point.
i did set up my christmas tree last night to try and recoup some spirit. in my deflated state, the best i could do was set things up almost exactly like last year. usually i try to put a little spin on things to make them different and new, but this year, the best i could muster was to go thru the motions. so tired of doing, doing, doing...
still, seeing the little warm lights and sparkly treasures makes me smile. ohhhhhh. to stop for a moment and really be in the moment. that's what i want for this year.
so today, a couple of great friends are coming over this afternoon to craft. i may not even dust the furniture, or buy a bunch of stuff to impress them or totally plan the activity we'll share. i may just wait for the moment to happen, welcome them in, and realize that just being together is what christmas is all about, and thank the Lord for having them in my life.
yep, i just may do that :)
happy weekend everybody!
3 comments:
I with you. I wish it was such a big 'deal' with all the hoopla. I wish we could just go to church and have a huge birthday party for the Baby King. But, instead I caught up looking at all the beautiful shiny things and forgetting about the real reason for the season. Thinking about you today and hoping you have a wonderful girls day. My goal is bake a bit and enjoy the weekend with dad home.
I am going to try and crochet a scarf for my mom for our craft day. I have no money, and I can't use my right hand for any length of time OUCH! My pinky is ruined. Hard to move it, write, craft, etc. I seem to get down every year too. We never have money, and this year it's hard to craft. What to do!! Have fun today. I may try and call, but I will be out shopping. No, not Christmas shopping, just trying to get bread and milk. K~
I get down during this time of year, not having someone in my life. I am really trying though to make hime more of a part of things this year. It is hard though, with so many distractions. Your tree is beautiful, and maybe it helps to remember the little things that make us happy.
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