well, woke up this morning with a "plan" - phillip laughs at this, because it really was loosely constructed. but to me, it was big. i decided to visit a new church today.
for awhile, i have been pondering if the Lord was ever going to move me from the place He first brought me. five and a half years ago, when the Lord first came to me and delivered His new plan for my life, He set me down at my current church. i had never gone to church before. to me, church was just a stuffy place where people went if something sad happened (funerals) or if they were lucky enough to get married. that was it, i had never put much more thought into it.
so it was quite a life change to begin attending church regularly. at first, it was not so easy. i did not feel comfortable in my new surroundings. but the Lord in His care for me saw that there were people that i could relate to, if the surroundings were kind of odd... Women, mostly, whom i still love and admire today. Dianne and Sher and Kit and Rachelle and Barbara and Anne and i'm sure more whom i am forgetting. They were there when i was hurting, there to give me hope.
but lately, i've been getting the itch to go deeper. for some reason, i am drawn to this side of town i live on (drawn enough to move here to live!) and another church is opening up a new "satellite" in our part of town. it's still a couple of miles away, but the neighborhood is the same flavor as the street i live on. meaning, it's NOT the most prosperous part of the city. there really are no "bad" neighborhoods in SF, but these lower income, older, sometimes neglected areas contain things like the meat packing plant and the penitentiary. for some reason, to me, it feels more comfortable over here.
i admit that today during the teaching (which is actually on videotape) i felt a stirring, things beginning to "make sense" - i also admit i am scared to leave my old new life behind! but on this Palm Sunday, the title of the sermon was "He makes all things new" and the gist of the sermon was how God changes the "landscape" of your life. the essence of it was about giving up control, granting the KING of all kings your life or your "land" - that if you think of your life as your "land" - then to give it to God was to give Him permission to grow something great on YOUR LAND. back to the gardening analogy of earlier in the week from deuteronomy (God likes to do that, to get His point across).
So today, i have asked the Lord in prayer:
God, i grant you permission to build your kingdom on MY LAND. Lord, you provide the seeds, the rain, the soil, the sun, and the Spirit which makes things grow. I ask you to forgive me for acting like the one in control. I thank you for the life you have laid before me, the garden that i have yet to see grow, and i ask you to bless every corner of it, as i give up my desire to guide it myself. i thank you for being the GREAT GARDENER and the One for whom i was created. i ask you to guide me as i listen for your voice, telling me which path i am to follow next.
amen!
4 comments:
I need a little face that means "tears." If you don't mind, I will copy that prayer and use it myself. I am beginning to feel the weight of the Exodus, and all that it entails, coming on. Your words speak truth into my own life, especially as I am about to be uprooted (again) and then re-planted. I couldn't live this life w/o Yahweh doing the gardening, and I thank you for that sweet reminder. I thank Him for loving you so well. :-)
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no, that just looks like a long nose. but yes, the tears came outta me today too.
i guess i am thinking of the way the Lord uses seasons. i was not really even aware that a new season was coming upon me, but i think been's death opened me up to that.
just like the flowers that my whole family has planted over the generations, you've got to dig them up and break them apart to keep them growing well. and then, you find they have multiplied, you have an overabundance, and you can give them away to your neighbors :)
that's what i hope we each find in our lives as we get replanted :)
love that we are sharing this too!
I like the long nose, tears mixed with laughter are the best kind. I also like your analogy (have noticed that you have quite the way with those), and I will do my best to let the Lord multiply my flowers as I step out to make friends in 'Bama. I'm thankful that we're being replanted together, too!
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Can I use your prayer for myself too? I STILL can't seem to find my new church home. I need guidance and direction. I need to pray more prayers like that. I am going to try another new church next weekend, called The Springs Calvary. We will see.
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