looking for light.

the last couple of days have seemed extremely dark in the morning. as i stumble into my computer, i am having trouble getting motivated to go back to work.

yesterday was an especially crappy day. all day long it seemed, things were not going my way. much of my job involves reading people's reaction to the things i make for them, and trying to 'correct' when the reaction is less than complimentary.

i did not get a whole lot of compliments yesterday.

i try to remind myself that doing my best is really all i can do, and that sometimes, it is more wise to hang back and let the other person do some of their own adjusting.

a client told me yesterday that he did not agree with much of his boss' decisions, but that since he was 'paying the bills' he was not going to challenge the wrong thinking.

i started to think about how much of my life is spent compromising because of 'paying the bills.'

perhaps, less than i would think. however, i want to learn to put paying the bills a bit MORE out of the position of control. i think we all do. but in this day, in this culture, it's a continual thing, not just a one-time decision.

as the evening winded down, i turned to my devotional for today - i just needed to look ahead, to be assured that today would be a better day.


the first words of the devotional read:

"i want you to learn a new habit. try saying 'i trust YOU, jesus' in response to whatever happens to you.


friends, i cannot tell you how PROFOUND that simple sentence was to me in my moment of need. i was able to lay EACH troubling thought at the feet of Jesus just by saying 'i trust you.' this simple act actually removed the burden from my heart.

and in fact, i did wake up to a day that i am not afraid of. one that holds great promise. one that is starting out in darkness, but will SURELY lead to light.

and so it goes. i hope that you have a good friday :)