Tuesday, March 22, 2011

what year is it?

i guess you have noticed the lameness of my posts lately. you can always tell when life takes a big chunk out of me, because my blog tastes like a rice cake.

i laugh at the 'feast or famine' part of my life - a few short months ago i was living on savings, and contemplating going to a homeless shelter. now, i have more to do than 1 person can hold in their head, say nothing about actually achieve. i lay in bed at night asking for peace, and for God to attach a filter to me, and filter out the stuff that doesn't matter. i have a feeling a bunch of it doesn't matter, to be honest.

for instance, i have less than 6 weeks to go with teaching. i'll be relieved to be done, but kind of sad, too. i have been thinking about starting a mentoring program here in sf, because i really cannot bear to let some of my students go. the grading and talking about computers, i can let go!

i also am finishing up with my rural development grant from the past year. it's been hard, to be honest, but also kind of fun. i love small town SD, but the challenge of how to make small communities viable in the future is not something a new logo and color palette can easily solve. i have made some friends along the way, however.

new stuff? yeah. that, too. there are new logos and websites and brochures and nationwide launches coming out the wazoo. must be spring! enterpreneurial types like spring, i've come to figure that out.

sigh. i still have not planted my tomato seeds. my neighbor actually had his garden tiller out yesterday, attempting to till some mud. he makes me laugh, he always starts about 6 weeks before me, but God knows that plants will not grow until may, so we always end up the same in august. even so, i love his sense of hopefulness. and perseverance. someday, he is going to BEAT the weather, he just knows it. ha.

happy tuesday! at least i can remember what DAY it is...i am going to try and buckle down and concentrate on one thing until i feel like i have accomplished something good. better go fill the coffee cup first :)


anne said...

"i have a feeling a bunch of it doesn't matter, to be honest."

I am feeling this pretty heavy this morning. After going through photos of Libya, Japan, etc. I know the answer but what is the world coming to?! How can I be concerned about wall color, the next logo and if the plants have been watered.

But if God delights with me in the small (to me) things that bring joy, a reminder of new life, and the fullness of life to come, I believe he can also bitterly weep about huge, terrible things that are happening to his beloved.

That my eyes might see what matters to Him.

Hope in Him. Only.

anne said...

Also. Let me just steal your blog to put my own post up.

Ha! Sorry, Bob. Just was feeling the same today!

bobbione8y said...

i love your 'posts.' you can steal my blog any time, dear.

i was telling carey today that i did not even KNOW about libya until shel mentioned it at church. i cannot quite figure out the vast dichotomy of things - except for Christ. He makes sense to me.

Rea said...

You would always have a couch in my house before you had to hit the homeless shelter.

And I struggle w/ filtering out what doesn't matter as well, it is so easy to let it become all consuming.

cherk said...

I hope you are able to find some balance for you "feast or famine" it seems like things are this way, more often then alot of us would like. I love the mentor idea! Go for it.