day one

hi baby 'matos!

the promise

i woke up this morning with the 'onslaught' on my mind. at least 15 projects all swimming around in random, chaotic ways. the thing that God has blessed me to be able to do, once again trying to force its way into becoming my kingdom. determined, i turn to the Lord, who has not left me stranded without hope.

my devotional said this:
In multiplicity of duties you may lose sight of Me momentarily, but even in the most pressing circumstances you will discover My presence when you pause to worship Me silently in your heart. Never fear that activity will crowd Me out. I will be very real to you at all times if you do not let the confusion that is around you in the world invade your inner sanctuary.

in other words:
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7

thank you Lord for a sanctuary. i keep thinking of my little screened-in porch, where i can look out and see all around me, but feel safe and protected and somehow the 'ugly' is filtered and i concentrate on the beauty.

thankful i have a road trip on the agenda today, so that i can be out in the middle of dakota, and praise and be with my very favorite One.

:) happy tuesday!

mondayness

check out the tangled situation in my office window today. I had to move some stuff to set up the 'greenhouse' so here we go. oh, and i had to cave and buy some mini daffodils at the grocery store yesterday. i'm pretty sure that real flowers in the house are more important than food or water. but not quite as important as coffee....love them.


speaking of tangled, take a look at bossie! she is crazy big still, even though a good share of her leaves on the back side of her fell off over the winter. i am so excited to bring her outside and repot her and get her going in her summer home! i have never had a fern live thru the winter. must be that bossie and i are meant to be.

so, i got the tomatoes planted, not sure what to put in the other little pods. flowers? zucchini? herbs? hmmmm. i also am going to try 'winter sowing' some flower seeds outside, in recycled milk/pop jugs. supposedly, they act like nature put them there, and grow as soon as the weather warms. fingers crossed for success! most of my seeds i actually direct sow in may, so i need to think of more ways to start NOW when i have the itch.



hmmm. what else. i went for a drive in the country yesterday afternoon, and MOST of the country around us is now a LAKE. serious flooding going on. pray for those folks if you think about it.

otherwise, all is well. God is planting some seeds in my head, too. i am pretty sure that if i take care of them, with His help they are going to be outta this world :)

"For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not
to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

happy week everybody!

jump start!

woo hoo! i got the grow light in the mail just now! it's called the 'jump start.'

it took siesta approximately 13 seconds to get in on the new piece of machinery. i wish, like her, that i could crawl under that thing for awhile!! he he. i also love how non-high-tech it is. there is a little pulley system, you lower the light when the seeds are babies, but you can also have full-grown plants under there, if you want to. i want to.

i actually got my OWN personal jump start already this morning. a friend called, and we chatted about the amazing, supernatural, sooooooo coooool idea that God is in the process of downloading into her life. i mean it people, there are no ideas apart from God, and the ones that are purely from Him are PHENOMENAL.

i am so not worthy of even being a part of her idea, but i am sensing that God does have a place for me there. whoa. and to think i was kind of wishing for retirement just a short year ago. i don't think we'll EVER retire, even in Heaven, do you? i think God will always have a place for us to be a part of His plans, and the neat thing is, we won't be too tired or stressed out to want to. zowie, that's good ;)

he he.

anyway. since my post was kind of a downer this morning, had to share ;)

friday again?

wow. where did the week go? every morning it seems i wake up, and for a minute cannot remember WHO I AM. do any of you ever have this happen? my earliest memory of this experience was when i was a child, and fell asleep in the back seat of the car at night, coming home from somewhere. i still have moments like this, sadly, they are happening more frequently. yikes. so much for forgetting what day it is!

i shut the phone off several times this week. it was WONDERful. i will maybe even do it today, too. and looking at next week, which is full of taxes and meetings and campaigns and classwork and out-of-town travel, yep, i may try it again.

i thought that getting the iphone would make me have to talk on the phone more. alas, thankfully, it is not true.

anyway. i miss living. today, the ups man will bring me my mini greenhouse, and i WILL plant some seeds this weekend. and then, i will wait for them to sprout. and then, i will nurture them and encourage them and fuss with them as they are babies. and THEN i will get to go outside and be with them every day!!!

living is good. i must think of a way to do it today, actually.
happy friday!

adopted

love this video. love it.

i kind of like it when mac has his Jesus look going on, too. and that they have set that reminds me of the black crowes when i saw them in 1990.

but, it's good for other reasons, too :)

what year is it?

i guess you have noticed the lameness of my posts lately. you can always tell when life takes a big chunk out of me, because my blog tastes like a rice cake.

i laugh at the 'feast or famine' part of my life - a few short months ago i was living on savings, and contemplating going to a homeless shelter. now, i have more to do than 1 person can hold in their head, say nothing about actually achieve. i lay in bed at night asking for peace, and for God to attach a filter to me, and filter out the stuff that doesn't matter. i have a feeling a bunch of it doesn't matter, to be honest.

for instance, i have less than 6 weeks to go with teaching. i'll be relieved to be done, but kind of sad, too. i have been thinking about starting a mentoring program here in sf, because i really cannot bear to let some of my students go. the grading and talking about computers, i can let go!

i also am finishing up with my rural development grant from the past year. it's been hard, to be honest, but also kind of fun. i love small town SD, but the challenge of how to make small communities viable in the future is not something a new logo and color palette can easily solve. i have made some friends along the way, however.

new stuff? yeah. that, too. there are new logos and websites and brochures and nationwide launches coming out the wazoo. must be spring! enterpreneurial types like spring, i've come to figure that out.

sigh. i still have not planted my tomato seeds. my neighbor actually had his garden tiller out yesterday, attempting to till some mud. he makes me laugh, he always starts about 6 weeks before me, but God knows that plants will not grow until may, so we always end up the same in august. even so, i love his sense of hopefulness. and perseverance. someday, he is going to BEAT the weather, he just knows it. ha.

happy tuesday! at least i can remember what DAY it is...i am going to try and buckle down and concentrate on one thing until i feel like i have accomplished something good. better go fill the coffee cup first :)

he he he

seeking approval

u
whew. gotta get cracking today, working from 10-10 for some unknown reason!

i need your help, though. i have decided to buy a print by one of my favorite artists, judy paul....

not this month, probably. taxes are yet to come.

however, soon. very soon. which one do you think looks the most like 'me'?
i should make it clear that so far, i think they all look like me :)


happy wednesday!

day in the life

here's my day:

up at 6:52. not loving that it still feels like 5:52.

make coffee. apologize to God for all of the offenses of Monday. read bible. find out that God agrees about the offenses.

check computer. plan for 'hard project that i don't want to do' today.

answer a few emails. have breakfast.

answer some more emails.

talk to carey for an hour. decide that we both have 'hard projects we don't want to do.'

play fruit ninja. try to focus.

answer some more emails.

make lunch. grilled cheese and a pomegranate popsicle.

a little more fruit ninja.

email carey.

decide to blog about fruit ninja instead of digging into 'hard project.'






sigh. i can see this is going to be a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg afternoon.

the crazies

i have been trying to think of something profound to post for a monday.

reality is that 'the crazies' have set in over here, and i cannot think of anything profound, only a million not-profound things. must. stop. thinking.

so, here's a baked potato pic. thanks to karen writes, my baked potatoes are now spectacularly good. almost, ALMOST profound, in fact :)


happy Monday!

off with her head!

schwew. i woke up this morning with NO headache, after catching a whopper of one last night. i never used to get headaches when i was younger. i wonder what the deal is. of course, usually when i have too much going on in my noggin is when i get them. usually thursdays.

i am glad it's friday, however. my 'break' week is almost over, and i got about 1/4 of the stuff i needed to get done, actually accomplished. it's always, ALWAYS feast or famine in advertising. after several months of famine, i need to keep working.

however, much of the week was spent contemplating God's way. a different way. His sacrifice for us, and whether or not we are actually living into the Promise. i want to do that, whether the 'to do' list gets accomplished or not. i want a priority shift, to His kingdom rather than my own.

so, i'll have my *yummy* homemade yogurt, and dig into the day. i am grateful for the sunshine and for all of the relationships in my life, and yes, the 'to do' list as well.

have a great friday, all!

are we there yet?

every new day that i wake up to snow makes me a little more riled up. as my friend Anne pointed out yesterday, SPRING WINS. always ;)

ha. anyway, i am almost ready to plant some of the first seedlings. not until next week. i have been debating and debating about whether or not to buy a little grow light and a warming mat, but i guess i did fine last year without. i'm not sure being a farmer is an inexpensive hobby. but the end results sure taste good :)

speaking of. i made a swiss steak in the crock pot last week, using some of my home made marinara that i cannot for the life of me remember how i made. it was very good. good thing, since i will probably never be able to make it again!

ps. siesta is ready for spring too. she has told me she is finally going to GET that squirrel that has been tormenting her thru the window all winter. should be interesting to watch.

finding home

Four designing women play with the iphone in the lobby of church.
clockwise, from upper left: anne, angela, jenni, me

i had such a great day yesterday!

even though i am extremely introverted MUCH of the time, i do enjoy filling up with people. i'm trying to remember what life was like without people who share faith, and sincerely love one another. i don't WANT to remember, actually. it was empty.

not to my surprise, the Lord spoke to me about this in my bible time this morning. the concept of being part of the church body, and finding your home there...your purpose, your aliveness. i like going somewhere where i can find my aliveness.

Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,
some are slaves, and some are free.
But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit,
and we all share the same Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:13

if you sometimes wonder about what purpose God has for your life, i would contend that the answer is not to be found alone (although GETTING alone with God is always a good thing). i would contend that your purpose will be found as part of a community of believers, as part of the body, as set apart from the world, and into a place where he has reserved for His purposes.

and guess what? you will LIKE being in this place!

happy monday, all :)

the crazy ride

i seem to dream about weird escalators and staircases alot. i think the explanation that most 'dream interpretations' say about this is c.r.a.p. because i sincerely doubt that they mean i am 'moving through my spiritual journey with great progress and ease.'

which is not to say i'm not doing that, but whenever i have these dreams, i am stressed out. and tired. and overwhelmed. and i am going up staircases with no railings and perilous overhangs, and wide gaps with icky stuff down below, and weird twists and turns that it seems like i will not be able to maneuver.

my escalators aren't even pretty, like the one above. they are grey and menacing and BIG. and often on both insides and outsides of the building. and sometimes have parts of old buildings in my past, like my elementary school or the advertising agency that i used to work at. which, come to think of it, were quite similar ;)

he he.

anyway. i woke up this morning feeling somewhat normal. i think it might have been lack of sleep that caused me to go on 'the wild ride' last night. not sure. but i'm going to stay on flat land ALL DAY TODAY. seriously. not going to even venture down to the basement.

happy friday :)

the question

so, karen asked yesterday if it was true that you really could NOT take a bad picture with the hipsta on iphone.

after class last night, i decided to try.


funky pillow laying on the couch....pretty.


curly leaf coming out of my aunt's precious begonia plant...pretty.


princess collage by erika hanging on the wall....pretty.


aarp card that came in the mail yesterday...pretty!


me after a 14-hour workday....



CRAP.
i guess the iphone cannot do everything.

out-of-town meetings and clouds

it probably has something to do with naming my company 'pie in the sky' yesterday. today i was thinking about clouds, specifically of the cloud of glory that God made to lead the israelites around in the wilderness.



i was thinking this as i was driving to a meeting in the middle of *somewhere* on very icey roads.


i would have liked to see that cloud! especially toward evening, when it transformed to a pillar of FIRE. wow.


i was singing these chris tomlin lyrics as i went:

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

really, when you think about it, how easy is THAT? sometimes, i think we make it harder than it ever should be to be a christian.

i'll be totally honest here, i was also thinking 'you almost cannot TAKE a bad picture with the iphone hipstamatic!!'

:)



but mostly, i was thinking this: how wonderful it is that God has given us every tool we need in this world, in the form of the Holy Spirit, our 'glory cloud' that will lead us and take us everywhere we are meant to go. how simple, how gloriously simple, is that!!!

it was a good day for an out-of-town meeting.

And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest. And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence.

Exodus 33:14-15