mercy me!

Kind of a funny thing has happened to me in the last few weeks. I have decided to go to a new church. FOR REAL. Which really, is kind of a big deal. Especially considering I’ve gone to one church my entire life. Starting at age 39, of course.

Still. A. Big. Deal.

It’s probably been a long time coming. I tried going to a different church a couple of years ago as a ‘trial’ to see if I really wanted to switch. What ended up being harder than I thought was fitting in to a new place. I’m not terribly social, in most situations. People pretty much always scare me. unless I am talking to you guys, of course ;)) anyway, I ended up going back to my old church, mostly because it was comfortable. Except it really has not been.

I am ready to grow. I am ready to step out of the cocoon I have created for myself that keeps me only doing/being things that I have done/been. I know that it’s time. I think the story of how it came about is funny in a God sort of way.

See, I have a wonderful worship group. We are down to 3 now, after a ‘split’ last fall from a larger group. I love both of my girlfriends a lot. They both went to another church in town until last year, when some funky stuff started going on there... So, they both left, and have yet to find a new church home. I’ve invited them to my church in the past, and did so this spring as well. Then, we kind of decided to try this other ‘new’ church, called Mercy church. It’s been around awhile, actually, and I know a few people from there. I know the pastor, Shel, and I know his wife, Anne, whom God has strategically placed in my life at several key times since I’ve known her (hi Anne! Some of you guys know her, too). I thought I knew what Shel was about, because we are friends on Facebook. Yeah. Well, at least I am admitting the stupidity of that notion!

Anyway, we went to Mercy, the 3 of us, a few weeks ago. And something funny happened to me in the service. I started to cry. I’m not sure why, but I started to feel God touching me. I have never ever left a church service so fast as that day! Ha. I was afraid. On the way home in the car, I actually cried much, much more. I repented for spending so much of the last couple of years living for mostly me. I asked God to help me step out, and move toward Him. I asked Him if He wanted me to switch churches, and I thought I heard ‘yes.’

I went again the next week, and although I didn’t cry, the ‘yes’ did not turn to ‘no.’ And the preaching was good. Really good. See, the thing about Shel that I thought I knew is that he reads a lot of books, and he has a lot of fancy names for people, like ‘third way Christians’ and ‘anabaptists.’ all of which kind of bugged me until I have found out in the last couple of weeks what he MEANS when he says those things. I guess it has been a little ‘aha’ moment for me to find out that his preaching makes a lot of sense to me, and that probably is not a bad thing. HA.

So the next week, the ‘yes’ got a little louder. And I got a little more confident in hearing it. YES. That means what it seems like it means. YES, it’s time to move. It’s time to follow God and serve Him more. It’s time to open myself up to new things, and new people, and new teaching. It’s not time to think about what was wrong before, or blame anybody for anything, because God planted me where I was, and I am thankful for the places I’ve been, and the foundation in Christ I have. But right now, I am moving forward. To what, I cannot say I know. But I know God knows, and that is enough for me.

And this time, I’m not calling it a trial. I’m calling it a decision. I think it will work better that way. And I’m looking forward to looking forward.