freakish

on sunday, our pastor preached from the book of Jonah. i'm so enjoying verse-by-verse preaching in the 'new' church. i have never done that before....let me tell ya, Jonah has some good stuff in it.

it was interesting that pastor tied the term 'control freak' into his teachings from chapter 1. immediately, i perked up. i think most of us try to control some, if not all, aspects of our lives. women seem to have an especially tough time with over-controlling behaviors.

let's just say i have a few 'issues' in this area. pastor asked us to examine ourselves, to think about what parts of our lives we try to control....when God could do a much better job. Here goes:

1) work. work. work. i have always been controlling in a job setting. at some times in my career, i'm pretty sure i was a pain in the butt to work with. perhaps, i still am too much of the time. i have a hard time 'guiding' people and not getting upset when they don't seem to listen or care, even though they hired me to 'guide' them. how do i give this to God? one situation at a time, i guess. yesterday, i had a few times to practice. ha. i imagine today will be another similar laboratory setting. sigh.

2) relationships. i like people to be and do what i like them to be and do. history has taught me that often, people are not exactly great at being and doing for my benefit....he he. again, i think only the grace of God with every single person in your life can stop you from trying to control them.

3) my future. what? who can control their future? seriously, i feel stupid for even writing this one down. yet, i seem to spend an inordinate amount of time planning, when in reality i just want to do/go where God sends me. the greatest reward ultimately lies in living out his purposes. i'm tired of my purposes. and still, i try to figure it all out.

4) the weather. yeah. go figure. now that it's gardening time, i think about the weather alot. will it be a bad summer? will the rain become permanent? how about the cold temps? the thing about the weather is that it's a great reminder that we CANNOT control God. the latest storms and tornados are evidence of the power that God can possess. i don't believe God brings on storms as part of wrath, but that he allows creation in its brokenness to act in ways that are not in His perfect will. still. i wish i could control the mess of the lives of the people in the South. i want to know that our country will be safe from harm. i know that God knows what will happen, but it makes me crazy that i don't.


so, that is about all i can think of for now. i'm sure there is more. today, Lord, i grant you rights to my life. to step in and take charge when you need to, and to guide ME instead of me guiding me. i pray this for all my blog friends who need help in this area. in Jesus' name, amen.




ps. this is loco. he doesn't need help with control issues, he has it all figured out.

:)