grey(ish) gardens

i finally got to spend some time in my secret garden this morning. thinking, praying, and resting with siesta. i am so bummed that i have almost not been here at all in august, these days and weeks when it is my favorite time to be here.



have you ever seen the film grey gardens? it's creepy and still kind of cool at the same time. i think little edie and i may have a couple of things in common :)

i was trying to figure out why i love the jungle so much. i think it is starting to make sense to me. in the spring (which i also love, btw) i am the one in control. i plan and look and make the rows and tend to the weeds and have what most people think of as a green thumb. i do my best to create something beautiful.

inevitably, by this time of the season, i have gotten too preoccupied with other things, and start to lose control. or interest. the weeds become bigger and stronger, the plants (esp. this year with all the rain) become GIGANTIC, some die, and some thrive, and some take over the whole shebang. control starts to shift back to its original owner.

and by now, it's more about God's design, how he makes things go together. all of my planning and tending and trying to control things cannot even compare to the crazy, beautiful mess that God allows and manages and creates. his garden is infinitely more beautiful than mine. in some ways, my garden kind of reminds me of hiking last week in the woods. untended by us, but not by him. His hand on every little plant and bug and tree and creature. you can FEEL it.

i feel safe there (and here). covered by peace.


sigh. so joyful of God's creation. so glad that i can enjoy this haven for awhile yet. thank you Lord!